I like to use a program called yalp. You can find it at www.yalp.org. It works by having you turn on your log file /log and then after you play you run yalp on that log file. It analyses yours and anybody you were with.
Another great program is eqwatcher, www.eqwatcher.com. It runs real time while you play and reports various statistics verbally while you play. So it will tell me my dps on any fight I finish. It will also tell me how many kills I've done in an hour. It monitors certain bufs and gives you a message when they run out or warns you they will be runing out soon. Very nice.