Its as simple as I can make it, Meara... I gave up on getting what I wanted. Don't be startled. I just grew up and I had to learn it on my own terms. I also said that statement simply cause LoH has his own problems to deal with and I don't wish to be involved with anything he starts.
With Soulfire at the time, I just felt that I was putting too much in and simply getting nothing in return and it was hurting me a lot... It felt as if I kinda had to kiss butt just to get it all, and frankly I didn't want to do that. Its not that I wasnt being materialistic about things at the time. I left cause someone in the ls said I was being greedy about that drop and wouldnt care to negotiate with me, but I wont mention his name for its all in the past, even though I forgive the guy for what he said. It was offensive to me, and I still find it offensive and very rude, but I have a heart to forgive him simply because he has a heart and he wouldnt ***** someone over like that.
I don't think it was just me either who acted obsessive compulsive over items. A lot of us were at the time. To this point, a majority of people have more than one sky item. For the record, I still don't even have one and I've played a lot longer than some of these people. But do I care now? No. I can still play the game without them if I have to, so what's the problem?
Either way, its all in the past and theres nothing I can do about it now. I wore out my welcome, and its something I can never repay back. I got what I deserved, and its the fate I've accepted. I can never go back to those times again, I sincerely doubt it.
In the times after I met so many new friends and my in-game experience has never been more fun. For example, I helped a friend get 5-2 done. I did it simply cause not many others would and to experience the fun of it all again. As I've learned, the game is what you make of it, not what it will make out of you. Knowing this, I've decided to be more of a helper of other people or to be a hermit in other cases. I never will attain the perfection I always dreamed, but I know that I've earned someones respect at least, and those are the ones who keep my game experience flowing.
I however, am still keeping my promise to you, and I always will. I think I'm holding to it quite well.... You've taught me a lot, Meara, and I'll never forget it all. I just learned it all a little too late, and I blame myself for that. Its all my fault. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you.
Edited, Tue Apr 4 18:53:15 2006 by Marleau