First, Dread Lord, you insult others with style and flair. I salute you.
Next, after re-reading all the posts, I'm pretty much convinced that this was a troll post after all. Look at the facts: This person posts "I have a problem, please help me." Then goes to great lengths to refute every single post made to give the requested help, insulting those who have the most credibility. All the while whining that nobody is helping or just doesn't understand. Every valid point made is dismissed as having already been tried or not relevant. Seems obvious that this is just an attention-getting ploy. More subtle than most I've seen, certainly, but still just a child begging "Look at me!"
If I am in fact, wrong, then I apologize to the original poster sincerely. However, if you are honestly looking for advice, it's been given. Repeatedly. Take it or not, but shut up about it.
Have a wonderful day, all.