Quote:
Only problem with these pets are they want a share of the loot and exp
Depends. You simply have to do it the right way. Instructions follow:
PART 1 -- How to Summon Your Pet
There is no need to obtain or scribe a spell scroll for this. All clerics are able to cast the summoning as an intrinsic class ability. To do this, first enter the zone in which you intend to hunt, then enter the following command:
/shout Group seeks lvl [your level] tank
Expect many fizzles. In fact, this spell fizzles so often that the fizzle message has been disabled to spare you the spam, so on failure you just get stony silence. On the bright side, it costs you niether mana nor items to cast (...initially, that is. You'll pay through the nose in terms of mana and items as your pet goes into action.) Don't be discouraged. Keep casting and soon your tank will appear.
PART 2 -- What is a "Tank?"
Just as enchanters get animations and magicians get elementals, clerics get "tanks." While I would have thought, before reading all this "Give us pets!" nonsense, that the sight of a cleric plunging nose-first into peril with his faithful tank in tow was one of the more common sights in Norrath, it is, I suppose, understandable that one could overlook them. Let us take stock of the tank, then, and compare it to the other caster pets.
Tanks are most like mage pets in both apperance and behavior, though they are substantially inferior in combat power. They can be easily distinguished from each other in that tanks have heads, although this is purely there for decoration. Like mage pets, tanks may be given weapons to use, but should not be given anything that you expect to get back. Fortunately, unlike mage pets, tanks generally come equipped with weapons on summoning, hence the prudent cleric doesn't give them Jack Diddly. Finally, just like mage pets, most tanks have some kind of minor magical attack, along with an unrestrainable tendancy to use it exactly when you don't want them to.
PART 3 -- Getting a Good Tank
In contrast to the common practice of other pet-wielding classes, the high failure rate of the summoning means that clerics cannot expect to summon and destroy their tanks until they get an "even pet." The "/tank get lost" command is bugged anyway, leading to unpredictable results. If you simply must destroy your tank, it is far more efficient to send it out on a pull, invis everyone in the party while it is gone, then hit the "disband" key as soon as it makes contact. It should return to a point near the camp and, if invis holds, it will mill around a little until it finally succumbs to the pulled MOB's. At this point you may attempt to cast a summoning for another tank. (N.B. It is widely rumored among higher level clerics that repeated use of this method results in a higher fizzle rate for the summoning.)
PART 4 -- Fighting with a Tank in the Party
Tanks, like enchanter pets, are largely automated, with one important difference: Tanks are highly active and aggro on almost everything. This has its good and bad aspects. On the one hand, tanks can be set to auto-pull MOB's and dice them up at camp, netting you exp while you med, eat, watch TV, fondle the girlfriend, etc.; on the other hand, they have a variety of obnoxious personal habits, such as binge drinking, sexually harassing the party's druid, and pulling trios of fire giants while you're at 10% mana. You have to take the good with the bad -- just remember to always have gate memmed.
The typical "tank pull" goes something like this:
The tank is buffed and told to pull.
The tank signals readiness to pull by chugging ale until he weaves and commenting on the druid's breasts.
The tank departs and the druid bitterly starts listening to Ani DiFranco tunes while she meds.
The tank returns suddenly with about four dangerous and upset MOB's on his tail.
The tank says "Incoming!"
With the exception of the druid, who is still jamming with Ani, the group leaps into coordinated action, focusing their attacks on the group's bard.
The bard's instrument is vigorously lodged in his ****** so that the party can target the enemy.
Acquiring your target by targeting the tank, you light off your most potent heal.
The MOB rushes you, and you summon the tank to your aid saying "ON ME!"
The enchanter highlights the MOB attacking you by casting mesmerize on it.
The tank, guided by the blue flash, rushes to attack the mezzed MOB.
With mez broken, the MOB continues to pound you while the tank attempts to taunt it off you.
Taunt succeeds a few seconds after you die.
With the cleric dead, the tank panics and trains his MOB to zone; meanwhile, the 3 other MOB's pounce on the medding/grooving druid.
The druid prepares to evac while the enchanter prepares to mesmerize the MOBs off her.
The bard extracts his instrument from his nethers and strikes up a tune, taunting all the MOBs off the druid.
The enchanter mesmerizes the bard.
The bard dies and the druid evacs to safety with the enchanter.
Of course, it doesn't always go this well, but this is the general idea.
by Kushinata of The Nameless
Edited for clarity.