So I'm killing stuff in North Karana for some quest or another. I'm a midlevel druid at this time, and generally not bothering anyone except mobs.
I have no problem with folks asking for buffs. I really appreciate the ones that offer to donate for SoW and whatnot, even small amounts. I don't always expect it, but at the very least most folks are grateful and polite about it. This little anecdote involves the 'other' kind of request.
In the midst of root rotting a hill giant, I get a /tell...
Brainiac: Yo dood. Need SOW.
Loonsong (me): ?
Brainiac: Need SOW.
Keep in mind I'm in the middle of what was a difficult fight at the time.
Loonsong: Kinda busy at the moment here. Kiting.
Brainiac: Dood, gotta kill griffs. Dun be a d*ck.
Loonsong: Kiting. Busy. I'll SoW you after. Just chill.
Brainiac: F*ck U dood. Need a SoW. Why U being a d*ck?
At this point I had resolved to respond to this eloquent individual in kind and introduce him to the glorious serenity of /ignore. But just as I was preparing to textually flay him alive, I experienced a sublime epiphany and instead typed the following...
Loonsong: Kk. I'll SoW. I'm south of Gypsies.
Brainiac: Roxxorz dood! OMW!
The giant dropped shortly after, so I sat to meditate and wait. I also memorized Scale of Wolf. Surprisingly, it didn't take long for the intellectually challenged youngster to locate me. He gifted me with several charming emotes, including rude gestures, dancing, laughing out loud, waving, and yes, even drooling. I was a bit concerned about the latter, but I had already resolved to be helpful in this case. I cast Scale of Wolf and bade him enjoy. He waved goodbye to me (though with only one finger) and was on his merry way.
North Karana is large, and at this time there were no PoK books. My new expressive friend was also apparently bound in Halas, as he was a barbarian (warrior I believe). Needless to say, I soon received another tell.
Brainiac: Dood, I died.
Loonsong: Sorry to hear that.
Brainiac: Can I get SOW again?
Loonsong: Sure, I'm at gypsies.
Brainiac: Can U meet me in Qeynos Hillz?
Loonsong: No, I'm sort of busy.
Brainiac: Look d*ck I don't feel like running across all the way back without SOW.
(Apparently this individual mistakenly believed my given name to be Richard)
Loonsong: Just let me know when you get here and I'll reSOW, or find someone to SOW you in Qeynos Hills.
Brainiac: F*ck dood, this sux.
Loonsong: I do sympathize. Just find me near the gypsies and I'll SOW you again.
Of course he did eventually find me again, after repeated reminders in /tell just how much it sucks to cross West Karana without SOW and that I really was an unkind person for making him do this. I gave him Scale of Wolf.
To give him credit, I'm fairly certain he had no idea what Scale of Wolf was. He only saw that it made him run faster and this made fleeing angry griffins much easier...unless he actually attacked said griffins and Scale of Wolf immediately dropped. Then the run back to the guards was perilous in the extreme, and in his case, deadly.
Brainiac: Dood, wtf?
Loonsong: ?
Brainiac: Died again.
Loonsong: That does happen sometimes.
Brainiac: I gotta F*CKING CROSS QH n WK AGAIN!
Loonsong: If you want to loot your corpse, yes you do.
Brainiac: Can U bind me there?
Loonsong: Sorry, it's not a city zone. Can't bind you here.
Brainiac: F*ck.
Yes, I know you can bind folks at the gypsy camp, but it was obvious that he did not. I surmised that the exercise was good for him anyway. Most warriors neglect their legs when they work out.
All told, this happened three times before he began to get suspicious. His first theory was that someone was giving the griffins SOW, or they were bugged. He eventually realized he simply stopped running quickly whenever he attacked them. This led to a /petition about how his character was bugged and way back in these days, GM's responded to petitions rather quickly. I didn't have to wait long before the GM contacted me.
GM: ROFL!!! Are you throwing scale of wolf on this guy???
Loonsong: Possibly.
GM: ROFL!!! I take it he doesn't know it drops whenever you attack?
Loonsong: I don't know. I was fairly certain everyone knows about that.
GM: I had to warn him twice about foul language. He's not happy.
Loonsong: I'm very distraught to hear that.
GM: Technically, I have to tell him he's not bugged, and I should tell him what's happening.
Loonsong: Go ahead if you have to. That's what /ignore is for. :)
GM: ROFL!!!
GM: Ok, I'm just going to tell him that his char is definitely not bugged and let him figure it out.
Loonsong: Ok. :)
I then proceeded to cast Scale of Wolf on our special friend a total of SEVEN TIMES! I kept careful count. The guild was roaring with laughter as I related this little adventure and I admit I was guffawing so hard that I very nearly ruptured something important and the neighbors complained. I'm fairly certain that I could have witnessed him dying seven more times, but he was taking so long to run back for his corpses that I had run out of time for the day. I wished him the best of luck as I camped.