Oldie but Goodie....we can all use a little humorFollow

funny thing is when Sol Ro merged with Bristlebane all the clerics I grouped with had this problem. They did not seem to know how to heal worth a crap... for example I was in PoV(outer) with my 60 SK and a guildie was boxing his 60 Ranger and his 63 Shammy and we had a few others in group dont remember what. anyway ranger was pulling and he was healing and slowing with his shammy with no probs he kept mobs comming, we had a spot open and a 58 cleric popped in zone LFG we grabbed her. needless to say on the 2nd mob I died and I was like wtf. so she rezzed and we tried again and on 4th mob I was dead again I was like wtf she apologized and rezzed again about this time a lvl 70 cleric from my guild popped in to buff and chat so we proceded to pull again and on first pull she nearly killed me if it wasnt for my lvl 70 cleric guildie stitting there watching and hit me with a quick heal.. well to make along story short we had simular results with other clerics from Sol Ro so for the longest time if a cleric from Sol Ro was lfg they didnt get invites, eventually I got to where I would trust them and allow them to heal for me again.

are any of us being totally serious here any how? I mean who in their RIGHT mind would take this for real any how. Even if or apparrently ther actually is someone who acts this way they would get laughed out of most any guild in the game.

This is an application found this morning on out boards. We are a CoA guild...

Hello I am a level 52 bst interested in joining XXX. I have all expansions except PoP, GoD, OOW, DoN and DoD. I currently have 2 aa's. With my current schedule I can get about an aa every 4 hours or so in velks killing spiders with my pet. With this I figure I can get aa's pretty fast, although I will start getting regular xp soon to level up. I am currently maxing out Innate Int so I can get more mana for slows and dots. Here is my magleo: http://www.magelo.com/eq_view_profile.html?num=1262022
My gear is pretty good, considering I can solo about 5 velks spiders in a row before I have to med. I currently have no flags and no sigs. I will start farming sigs asap though I just need to know where to get em. I also have alot of velk silks from all my farming and also a Dojo axe from a dojo pickup raid that I am willing to trade for sigs. That is about it, please send me at tell in game so I can further my recruitment. Thanks!

whats funnier the post or the fact that ppl ACTUALLY take it seriously?some ppl just want to make any funny/interesting/knowledgable post into a rant/flame post.BUT if there werent any dumb ppl i guess clerics would be out of a job(im sooooooooo gonna get flamed lol) /flame on u sons of motherless gnolls!!!!!!!!

very nice, only to really put peeps off and make it far more believable you should have muffed up the spelling a bit more. noone that stupid would be able to spell that well or have any clue of proper punctuation. dam funny tho. ^^

Okay I made this joke up. It is silly, it makes me laugh, but possibly you will just think me a dork...

What did the Necro say to the Cleric?
(I dunno, what did the necro say to the Cleric?)

If I told you you had great virtues, would your hold them against me?

Then what did the Cleric say to the Necro?
(I dunno...)
No thank you, I have my convictions.

LMBO... told ya I am just a dork.

ROFLMAO LOved the bard joke!! can't wait to log on and use it!!!

Q. How can you tell if a ranger's been in your house?

A. The cat is camping his corpse.

OMG! It's the EQ AntiChrist.... wtf... rofl

case in point.

Hard to find the Skater Gnome thing as the site is down. Here is some more Quon though.

http://p216.ezboard.com/fquon91516frm8

this is good entertainment no doubt. Maybe he'll stop by and flame us again sometime

here is another funny one I copied off of EQDruids.com
NO THIS IS NOT REAL
but it's funny as all get out.............

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Denny's.
You say, 'Hail Denny's hostess'
Denny's hostess says 'Hello, Tyranadin. Welcome to Denny's. [Smoking] or [non-smoking]?'
You say, 'non-smoking'
You say, 'I would like non-smoking please'
You say, 'what about non-smoking'
Denny's hostess says 'Right this way, please.'
You are out of food and drink.
Erlen shouts, 'has anyone seen the waiter?'
Daegarmo shouts, 'no and ive been camping him for a half hour'
You are out of food and drink.
Ester shouts, 'I see him'
Erlen shouts, 'dont kill him, i still have to do the order quest'
You are hungry.
You are thirsty.
You are out of food and drink.
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Hello, Tyranadin. You look like you could use some [coffee]'
You say, 'Yes I'll have some coffee'
You say, 'what about coffee'
Denny's waiter says 'Ah, excellent! We have [regular] and [decaf].'
You say, 'I will have some decaf'
You say, 'what about decaf'
You say, 'what about decaffeinated coffee'
Denny's waiter says 'I expected nothing less of you. Here, take this.'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Juan Valdez got better
You drink your coffee.
You were hit by non-melee for 39 dmg
YOU are burning!
You shout, 'Ow hehe this coffee's hot'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u sux0r'
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Annoying kid says 'Pikachuuuuuu'
Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Annoying kid tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Annoying kid hits YOU for 3 points of damage.
Auto-attack on.
You hit Annoying kid for 17 points of damage.
You hit Annoying kid for 22 points of damage.
You have slain Annoying kid!
Your faction standing with Disciplineless Mothers got worse
Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got better
Your faction standing with The World at Large got better
Annoying kid's corpse0 says 'My mother will avenge my death!'
You receive 3 copper as your split.
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Disciplineless mother says 'Your actions and history are a personal affront to all I stand for.'
Disciplineless mother begins casting a spell.
Disciplineless mother pet is enveloped in flames.
Off-duty police officer says 'Hey! No pets in the building!'
Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 18 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 287 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother for 234 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer kicks Disciplineless mother for 27 points of damage.
Disciplineless mother is slain by Off-duty police officer!
Disciplineless mother pet hits YOU for 12 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer hits Disciplineless mother pet for 262 points of damage.
Off-duty police officer was burned.
Disciplineless mother pet is slain by Off-duty police officer!
Off-duty police officer says 'Let this be a lesson, that none can withstand the wrath of the San Diego Department of Public Safety.'
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Can I get you some more [coffee]?'
You say, 'No, I want to place my order'
You say, 'Can I place my order?'
You say, 'Let me place my order dammit!'
Denny's waiter says 'Ah, would you like to try our [Grand Slam Breakfast]?'
You say, 'I will have the grand slam breakfast'
Denny's waiter says 'How would you like your [eggs]?'
You say, 'scrambled'
You say, 'I would like them scrambled'
You say, 'what about eggs'
Denny's waiter says 'You can have [scrambled eggs] or [fried eggs].'
You say, 'I will have scrambled eggs'
Denny's waiter says 'Excellent, would you like anything to drink? Some [orange juice], perhaps?'
You say, 'I will have orange juice'
You say, 'what about orange juice'
Denny's waiter says 'Our orange juice is fresh squeezed from concentrate.'
You say, 'give me orange juice'
Denny's waiter says 'Okay, I'll be right back with your orange juice.'
You gain experience!
You are hungry.
You are out of food.
Gordon shouts, 'Attention, your bacon is now raw, because fully-cooked bacon lacks the inherent risks associated with our Vision of Bacon.'
Valshire shouts, 'Wait a minute, this bacon hasn't been cooked for months'
Gordon shouts, 'Uhh... yes it has.'
Tunso shouts, 'You kidding? We've been complaining about this stuff being raw for ages'
Gordon shouts, 'Uh, whatever.'
Gordon shouts, 'Oh.'
Gordon shouts, 'uh.... I've just been informed that the bacon has been raw for several months now, but we were unable to determine this until we fixed a bug with the pancakes, which were previously large enough to obscure the bacon.'
Gordon shouts, '... Oh, yeah, we nerfed your pancakes too.'
Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Tyranadin.'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Denny's Customers got worse
Scrambled eggs looks at you threateningly - what would you like your tombstone to say?
You taste your eggs.
You are chilled to the bone.
You shout, 'oh man my eggs are cold'
Tunso shouts, 'petition a manager then'
You petition, 'my scrambled eggs are cold'
Raynara shouts, 'Ack train to restroom!!!'
Aikbach says, 'Cailleach, I still can't believe you can eat this stuff'
Denny's waiter says 'Here is your breakfast, Cailleach.'
Cailleach begins to cast a spell.
Cailleach is protected from poison.
Cailleach says, 'I always come prepared'
You shout, 'Man, where's the manager'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u pteitond a managr u sux0r'
Napoca tells you, 'Greetings, Tyranadin, I am Napoca, the Denny's manager. How can I assist you?'
You tell Napoca, 'my scrambled eggs are cold'
Napoca tells you, 'I will be with you as soon as possible, please stay patient'
You sip your coffee.
A cool breeze slips through your mind.
Napoca says, 'Greetings, Tyranadin. Are your eggs still cold?'
You say, 'yes'
Napoca begins to cast a spell.
Scrambled eggs burst into flame.
Napoca says, 'Take care'
Elionia says, 'Ack, I don't feel so well'
Elionia begins to cast a spell.
Alka-Seltzer staggers.
Elionia staggers.
Elionia beams a smile at Alka-Seltzer.
Elionia says, 'Ahhh, I feel much better now...'
Denny's waiter says 'Here, let me clear that away for you.'
You say, 'Hey, wait, that's my food, I'm not done yet....'
You shout, 'Hey, this waiter took my food'
Erlen shouts, 'Yep, they do that sometimes if you let your food sit there'
You say, 'Hail Denny's waiter'
Denny's waiter says 'Hello there, Tyranadin, how can I help you?'
You say, 'Check please'
Denny's waiter says 'Okay, here you go.'
You gain experience!
You say, 'Hail Denny's cashier'
Denny's cashier says 'Hello there, would you like to pay your [check]?'
You say, 'Yes I want to pay my check'
You say, 'what about my check'
Denny's cashier says 'You must give me the check before I can reveal more to you.'
Denny's cashier says 'Ah, excellent! Would you like to know your [total]?'
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Denny's Cashiers got better
You say, 'what is my total'
Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper. Will you be paying with a [MasterCard]?'
You say, 'yes I will use a mastercard'
Denny's cashier says 'Unfortunately your MasterCard is over-limit. Would you prefer to pay with [cash]?'
Your faction standing with MasterCard got worse
Your faction standing with Cheesy-*** High-Interest-Rate Credit Card Companies got better
You say, 'yes I will pay with cash'
Denny's cashier says 'Your total is 6 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper then.'
You gain experience!
You receive 2 silver.
You receive 1 copper.
Denny's waiter says 'You have stiffed me on my tip for the last time!'
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 217 points of damage!
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 204 points of damage!
Denny's waiter hits YOU for 226 points of damage!
Denny's waiter tries to hit YOU, but misses!
Denny's waiter bashes YOU for 74 points of damage!
You are stunned.
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 189 points of damage!
You are bleeding to death!
Denny's waiter crushes YOU for 221 points of damage!
You have been slain by Denny's waiter!
You are no longer stunned.
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
You have entered Verant.
You shout, 'Can I get a SOW? My corpse is all the way over in Denny's'
Kyrani shouts, 'Haha u sux0r'