Warning to (RL) young ladiesFollow

thanks google!

There are so many keyboard shortcuts I still don't know...

I remember awhile back I was sent a tell to see if I wanted to group with some people. I wasnt looking for group, as I was hunting with a RL friend. We discussed it and said ok. We went to the group and the Group leader was female. She spoke and carried herself like she was an adult, mostly. There where some childish antics ( Hell Im 33 and I use childish antics on my BST) but it didnt throw me off.

I admittedly began to hit on her, sending her private tells and talking to her. After a few minutes, she told me she was 14 and even so much as announced it in group chat. I didnt believe her at that moment, I figured it was her way of letting me down. So I ceased on the " Vah Shir MAting Ritual" ( oddly she was a Vah Shir Bardess). But, I apologized for my lamo routine and we started talking civily.

Though not convinced completely that was her age, the things she told me from then on that night and many nights after, got me to believe that she is in fact 14. We, became friends and if we couldnt hunt together ( she had a 70 druid that was in a raiding guild and/or often need for other guild commitments)we still managed to talk. There never was anything "sexual" in nature , no cybering, no inuendos sans the first few minutes after our first EQ meeting.

Alot of our talks consisted of EQ stuffs in the past, our roleplays, etc. She lives in a different country ( her parents are military I think she said) so she spent alot of time telling me about the culture over where she is and such. To me thats interesting. I would not have known she was 14 if she hadnt told me from the get go. In fact, everyone that knows her knows she is 14.

She has since gotten me into her guild, and from what I can tell, everyone in the guild thinks very highly of her and her ability to play her toon. I have no question of it myself.

Anywho.... I know that there are ALOT of "kids" that play EQ, more than there used to be. For the most part, IMHO most can and do play their toons very well and if they hadnt told me or had been told of their age, I wouldnt know they were kids.

The OP was correct to offer up such a warning. Many of us take things for granted, espicially things that to many of us are common everyday things. There was a time when one could cyber "freely" and not have to worry about whether or not the person is of age or not.

And that with me a big issue. If I know the person on the other side of the computer is 14, for example, there is no way in my mind that I can cyber with her. Cybering for me is more of a mental ****** than it is physical, and knowing the age of the person will greatly affect that.

I can honestly say that this girl and I have become good friends, I care about her, much like a sister. We had the discussion awhile back about marrying one of our toons to each other in honor of our friendship.

Traditionally, I have no qualm with doing that. Many of my toons are married to or taken by my RL girlfriend. Some are single. The idea isnt all that far fetched. Again tho, the idea that scares me is her age. I know the union ( well not a union really, just a name exchange and a vow of good friendship) is meant in friendship, but that others will assume that it is more. Specifically, her parents and the others in the guild. I dont need that kind of rep or trouble that it could bring.

Moving on.... I believe that all the advice given in this posting is good and very sound. We need to teach our kids to be safe anywhere and everywhere whether it be out on the streets or sitting in the Plane of Knowledge. We need to teach the kids what is wrong and what is right...to the best of our ability. Somethings they can only learn through experience...but if they are ready when the situation comes up...all the better.

The one piece of advice I am mixed on though, is about revealing age. I can see in some cases where that is a very bad thing to do...and in most cases that it is bad. But in this instance, her telling me that she was 14 stopped me from doing something that I most likely would have hated myself for and possible left EQ for. She has told me that telling people that outright, has stopped people from hitting on her many times, but it also had no affect on some people. So on that, I dunno.

Sorry about the length of the boring script. For some reason I needed to speak...

I have to laugh at this!

3 years of EQ I've noticed very little improper conduct, but definately some creeps out there. I've made male and female toons both (<~ RL male btw).

The biggest difference I notice is 1st, people are quick to slander me on a male toon, and expect me to know how to play my characters.

2nd on female toons I get people that "beg" me to let them PL me, alot of free hand-me-down loot offers from would be "nice guys", and I get about 300% the quantity of tells on female vs. male toons.

The fact that this thread was created is the funny part. If you think about it, most hormone driven people aren't going to be scrubbing forums for a thread like this. I think they would be more prone to "other?" website scrubbing. Lol

The fact of the matter is EQ is a social design, so anything expectable of society will be found in game.

OMG TheKate you are bar-none the most ignorant reply I could expect. You must think I am pretty dumb if you think that I didn't read the thread I am replying to, and for whatever reason you believe I had an issue with this post for, is probably the reason I now have an issue with you. Back off the /quotes dear and put some productive info on the edit I hope you make very soon.

No doubt this thread is a warning, and those were your words stating you think it's preaching / scolding. I don't see that anywhere in my post, which makes me wonder if you even comprehended it.

All I am trying to convey is Males have a socially driven instinct to be protective and giving to Females, and how I have experienced this in game. It supports the original post in that "You don't know who you are communicating with" (Me playing a female toon for example). Personal relations via the internet are not just dangerous to young ladies, it's just as dangerous for anyone.

As your post clearly demonstrated, peoples' motives are more fantasy based than they realize. Selective listening, hopes and dreams, aspirations. You have jumped to the defense of this post as a motherly? instinct, another form of the protective nature which I had not mentioned. Good for you for showing us that, and that is why I say Chicks make the best guild leaders!

My apologies TheKate, I didn't realize that you were responding to the forum in general since you chose to only quote my text. lol I am guilty of being a jealous man-type in the most defensive of ways! /smack forehead

I decided to put in some good itemizations about my experiences in game, perhaps to serve as example to what a parent can expect their kids to run into, thereby indirectly reaching the target group of this forum. I think. Lol

Problem 1: Every female toon I have made, it takes less than 1 hour to be approached by no less than 3 males attempting to get to know me. They talk casual, and eventually try to share some personal stuff. Basically they want to get to know me. Many people can take such popularity as being a posative aspect, giving them a temporary high, making them feel in charge and wanted. To maintain this one might feel obliged to continue "sharing".

Solution 1: Be careful what you share unless you are entrapping a predator! If you aren't a vigilante, don't give personal information to include gender, age, address, RL name, pictures, etc.

Problem 2: Crazy people don't stop, and they don't get better. Any interaction encourages a social misbehavior. I was playing my main (a male toon) and was sent like 1000 tells from some bard saying he wanted to do things to me. I will not describe what those things were other than they were disgusting and sexual in nature.

Solution 2: Whatever gender you or your characters are, remember that the only thing that can effect you is what you allow to effect you. If you say stop, you may encourage them. If you get angry, you may encourage them. Instead use /ignore and just don't get involved, and make sure your kids understand that. I say crazy people don't get better because I have had personal experience with several for many years. Drugs might temporarily blind them, counsel might make them feel ok about it, but there is no cure for crazy. Now think about how many people collect disability for mental instability, and get most of their social interaction from online. Your kids learn social studies in school, but I'd wager they didn't cover how the govenment tries to "hide" the crazy people by paying them to stay at home.

Problem 3: Malevolent high. I think alot of you can agree that teens can be cruel in a judgemental way. It might be funny to encourage misbehavior just to get a desired response like making someone angry, or shooting down their expectations. Leroy Jenkins anyone? I have called people n00btard, told them their price is too high, etc. So it isn't just teens that do it, but I will say in my defense I wasn't seeking an involvement, just ranting.

Solution 3: If you or one of your kids is actively encouraging online interaction in a way that isn't nice, try to find a more productive means of satisfaction. It's a big world out there, and some people feel the need to shout because they don't feel they are being heard, getting enough respect, etc. Basically I think people would die without social interaction, so try to notice if your kids are seeking attention online, and try to guide them to posative outlets. These posative feelings will in turn be the shield against unwanted behaviors and contact, since their ego and emotions are fed by affirmative situations rather than objectionable ones.

~If any of you ever has a problem in game, remeber to use /ignore first! If that doesn't help /petition.

~Remember being stern and honest with people is not abuse, so talk to your kids and treat them with the respect of an adult when it comes to adult things.

~Awareness training is the best defense against the dark arts! Lol, what I mean is just because you think you are protecting your kids by keeping them uninformed of the dangers, it doesn't mean they are bulletproof.

The original post is 100% proper because he/she is speading awareness! /bandwagon on