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#1 Nov 18 2008 at 8:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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Valve's crappy software message, expanded by me wrote:
Hello, this is a message from Valve's software. You know how you spend an hour and a half installing the Orange Box software you just bought? And then spend another half an hour patching it to play? Yeah, well, you see, we are paranoid ******** We decided to wrap it in this ultimately worthless piece of **** software called Steam. Why did we call it Steam? Well, for one, you can use valves to release steam.

Oh, and it's a steamin pile of **** too. So it works both ways.

OK, so yea, because Steam is so worthless, you cannot play any of those games now. Yea, including Portal. I know it sucks, but hey we have a solution! Go and delete all these files listed on our wiki!

Hmmm, that didn't work? OK, try verifying all these game files.

Wow, that didn't work either? Try going into all these files that don't exist, never existed, and were never created.

Oh, right. So, last resort, we're stuck for ideas... Um... we blame your firewall and router. Yes yes, I know nothing's changed. But this way, you can spend hours ******* around without bugging us. Oh, and we don't have an 800 number you can call, all yo get is this useless e-mail support which we respond to when we're not getting hammered. Oh well, thanks for your cash! We needed a new bottle of Jose!


So anyone seen this error before?
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
#2 Nov 18 2008 at 8:48 PM Rating: Good
Hahahahahahaha...



Steam.
#3 Nov 18 2008 at 9:04 PM Rating: Default
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Quote:
So anyone seen this error before?



I have never had this problem...and Portal is awesome.



TF2 is terrible.
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#4 Nov 19 2008 at 12:12 AM Rating: Decent
Steam is made of win and awesome. I have most of my favorite games on Steam, allowing me unlimited access to them from any computer that has an internet connection. Oh noes! A disc got a scratch! Oh wait, I don't need the discs... ever... Hmm, perhaps I want to play a new game instead. I know, I can just buy one instantly, download it within 30 minutes (usually) and play it instantly...

Nothing wrong with Steam. Most if not all the problems come from the user or inferior hardware/software or the settings of aforementioned hardware/software.

User error. Please hit any user.
#5 Nov 19 2008 at 4:00 AM Rating: Decent
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NorthAI the Hand wrote:
Steam is made of win and awesome. I have most of my favorite games on Steam, allowing me unlimited access to them from any computer that has an internet connection. Oh noes! A disc got a scratch! Oh wait, I don't need the discs... ever... Hmm, perhaps I want to play a new game instead. I know, I can just buy one instantly, download it within 30 minutes (usually) and play it instantly...

Nothing wrong with Steam. Most if not all the problems come from the user or inferior hardware/software or the settings of aforementioned hardware/software.

User error. Please hit any user.
Ah, but see, here's the thing:

This is a 5 grand gaming rig with SLI. It's ******* loaded. AND, the game plays buttery smooth on it... when it's been allowed to. I'm not using Vista either, good old XP. And as my sarcastic error message stated, I played and completed Portal with no error. But now, this is all I get:
The motha@$%^ing game us unavailable!!


And, since this is an offline game, and, ya know, I was just playing it 2 DAYS AGO, and I CAN SEE THE ************ GAME INSTALLED... yea... I say Steam is crap.

Oh, and I used to get tons of calls on this POS software when I worked tech, since they don't have any support over at Valve for it. I dreaded loading Steam long before I had any interest in Portal.
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
#6 Nov 19 2008 at 8:37 AM Rating: Default
Reinstall the entire thing. Anyway, the amount of Steam problems compared to the amount of Steam users... negligible. I did some checking on the Steam forums, and I found no more problems there than in any other forum tied to a piece of Software. I've got three computers (one stationary that should in theory be able to run Real Life flawlessly) and two laptops. Three different OS (Vista, XP and Linux) and although I don't use Steam on the Debian laptop, I have never had a problem with Steam.

This includes all previous computers as well, since I have this nasty habit of replacing my computer or buying entirely new HDs for them quite often.

To me, this says Steam is a fairly robust piece of software which delivers what it's supposed to. Games online, easily bought downloaded and installed, available from any PC as long as you remember the accountname and password. Sorry Pawke... you're just one of the exceptions that confirm the rule. They exist for everything, and this time Murphy decided your *** looked edible...
#7 Nov 19 2008 at 10:52 AM Rating: Good
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I had a problem running Portal on my laptop when I first got it, as it turns out my video card was a little outdated, but the tech support provided me with a handy string of commands that I entered once into the advanced settings of the game and everything was fixed for my system. It took me a couple weeks for them to figure it out (initially I just got the standard "did you do ____ and ____ that's in our FAQ?" BS) but when I told them I had already tried that, they came up with a solution fairly quickly. So yea, Steam = win and there must be something you're doing wrong. If you reinstall and it still doesn't work... then actually email someone if you didn't already try that.
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#8 Nov 19 2008 at 2:38 PM Rating: Good
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Vataro, Eater of Souls wrote:
I had a problem running Portal on my laptop when I first got it, as it turns out my video card was a little outdated, but the tech support provided me with a handy string of commands that I entered once into the advanced settings of the game and everything was fixed for my system. It took me a couple weeks for them to figure it out (initially I just got the standard "did you do ____ and ____ that's in our FAQ?" BS) but when I told them I had already tried that, they came up with a solution fairly quickly. So yea, Steam = win and there must be something you're doing wrong. If you reinstall and it still doesn't work... then actually email someone if you didn't already try that.
How am I doing anything wrong?

I HATE that when people "give me advice" about a situation without even considering that, you know, there might just be a problem with the software, not my rig or my settings or any of that rubbish.

Explain this to me:

I installed the game. I then installed other games. I updated drivers. The Steam games played through ALL of this. Then, I turn on my rig, I go to load it up, then I get the error of D000000000M.

Ok, fine I go, I look up the forums. I find the Steam FAQ on this (always dread to see one that list so many steps and end in blaming network devices, the automatic "Get Out of Jail Free" card for software). I try the first, renaming the "blob". Did it, it worked! Awesome.

So I play on and off every so often for the next month or so. Oh, ****** happened again. Ok, fine, redo the first step, no go. I read on a forum that playing offline for one game can fix it. So I do that. Works! Awesome.

So then I again play on and off for another month or so, then BAM! Again! OK, fine, this time I did the whole delete. Then, again it works! ...

So finally this last time nothing works. I've sent in a support ticket with little hope they will give a **** since they already have my cash in hand and have 0 interest in any more Steam-ing piles of crap from Valve.
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
#9 Nov 19 2008 at 3:24 PM Rating: Decent
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It's not that they are assuming that you are an idiot. It's just that if 10000s of people can use the software without problem, and you have a problem, then the first place to look is on your side.

Seriously. At work if 20 operators can run a machine without issue, and get full rate each day, and never have to call me over to fix anything, but one guy gets on it and is constantly calling me over to reset it, every day, I naturally assume it's something the guy is doing and try to fix it based on that idea. And most of the time it's true.
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#10 Nov 19 2008 at 5:27 PM Rating: Decent
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TirithRR wrote:
It's just that if 10000s of people can use the software without problem,
Google would like to have a word with you.
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
#11 Nov 19 2008 at 6:41 PM Rating: Decent
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Pawkeshup, Immortal Lion wrote:
TirithRR wrote:
It's just that if 10000s of people can use the software without problem,
Google would like to have a word with you.


You know, those that have problems ***** the most. You never see people post "Hey guys, I just installed XXXX Game and it works perfectly". Just because google shows a bunch of hits about people having issues, doesn't mean the software is the problem. What you don't see by searching for "problems" is all the people without problems that are currently playing.

Ya.

Edit:
Let's just put it this way:
Focusing on the problem being the software, and denying any help that tries to pinpoint potential problems with your setup, will not lead to any solution for you.

Edited, Nov 19th 2008 9:45pm by TirithRR
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#12 Nov 19 2008 at 8:34 PM Rating: Decent
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Driftwood the Eccentric wrote:
TF2 is terrible.

TF2 is an excellent FPS game.
#13 Nov 19 2008 at 9:46 PM Rating: Good
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Pawkeshup, Immortal Lion wrote:
Vataro, Eater of Souls wrote:
I had a problem running Portal on my laptop when I first got it, as it turns out my video card was a little outdated, but the tech support provided me with a handy string of commands that I entered once into the advanced settings of the game and everything was fixed for my system. It took me a couple weeks for them to figure it out (initially I just got the standard "did you do ____ and ____ that's in our FAQ?" BS) but when I told them I had already tried that, they came up with a solution fairly quickly. So yea, Steam = win and there must be something you're doing wrong. If you reinstall and it still doesn't work... then actually email someone if you didn't already try that.
How am I doing anything wrong?

I HATE that when people "give me advice" about a situation without even considering that, you know, there might just be a problem with the software, not my rig or my settings or any of that rubbish.

Explain this to me:

I installed the game. I then installed other games. I updated drivers. The Steam games played through ALL of this. Then, I turn on my rig, I go to load it up, then I get the error of D000000000M.

Ok, fine I go, I look up the forums. I find the Steam FAQ on this (always dread to see one that list so many steps and end in blaming network devices, the automatic "Get Out of Jail Free" card for software). I try the first, renaming the "blob". Did it, it worked! Awesome.

So I play on and off every so often for the next month or so. Oh, sh*te, happened again. Ok, fine, redo the first step, no go. I read on a forum that playing offline for one game can fix it. So I do that. Works! Awesome.

So then I again play on and off for another month or so, then BAM! Again! OK, fine, this time I did the whole delete. Then, again it works! ...

So finally this last time nothing works. I've sent in a support ticket with little hope they will give a @#%^ since they already have my cash in hand and have 0 interest in any more Steam-ing piles of crap from Valve.


My apologies, while I said you must be doing something wrong I meant there must be something wrong on your end, not that you personally were doing something wrong. And as was said, it's not like everyone has this problem. And if as many people have had this problem as you say, certainly they would have a solution by now. If you do actually get to communicate with a tech and he can't help you, then I'll be more inclined to side with you.

And from my experience, they will try their best to help you.


Edited, Nov 19th 2008 11:47pm by Vataro
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#14 Nov 22 2008 at 6:35 AM Rating: Decent
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I won't even ***** around with the PC version just because of that. I played HF2 on the Xbox then rented Orange box for episode 1 and 2. HAve to say I am waiting for 3 still. Great game but yea that steam seems kinda stupid to have to mess with.
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#15 Nov 22 2008 at 2:34 PM Rating: Good
I've only purchased one game on Steam, Beyond Good and Evil. It's always ran fine for me, but I can appreciate your frustration.
#16 Nov 22 2008 at 7:57 PM Rating: Default
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Steams awesome, better than XBL, PSN, and whatever crap the wii has put together.
#17 Nov 25 2008 at 8:33 AM Rating: Excellent
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TirithRR wrote:
You never see people post "Hey guys, I just installed XXXX Game and it works perfectly".


I installed the Orange Box on my PC the day it came out. I quite often go back to TF2 (after waiting for the latest patch to automatically update) because it's a really fun game, especially with the mine cart, and so easy to pick up. Never had a problem with it.

I wish I could say the same for Battlefield 2 or 2142. Hopefully Left 4 Dead will work as well as stuff does on Steam (for me).

EDIT: I see L4D is on Steam so that last sentence is redundant.

Edited, Nov 26th 2008 11:59am by Leodis
#18 Nov 25 2008 at 12:39 PM Rating: Good
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This probably doesn't help at all, but yesterday I tried to launch L4D from the friend menu (clicking on a friend who was in game and selecting "launch game", and it gave me your message. However, I tried launching the game from the Games menu (by right clicking and selecting launch game) right after and it worked just fine.
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#19 Nov 29 2008 at 7:38 AM Rating: Decent
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Vataro, Eater of Souls wrote:
This probably doesn't help at all, but yesterday I tried to launch L4D from the friend menu (clicking on a friend who was in game and selecting "launch game", and it gave me your message. However, I tried launching the game from the Games menu (by right clicking and selecting launch game) right after and it worked just fine.
Gave that a shot too.

And so far Steam tech support has been less than helpful. They basically sent me a link to the same steps I've already done.

It's fine though, Mines of Moria finally arrived. Now if they can just hurry Monday's arrival with the patch to end the downtime on the servers, life would be good!
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
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