Valve's crappy software message, expanded by me wrote:
Hello, this is a message from Valve's software. You know how you spend an hour and a half installing the Orange Box software you just bought? And then spend another half an hour patching it to play? Yeah, well, you see, we are paranoid ******** We decided to wrap it in this ultimately worthless piece of **** software called Steam. Why did we call it Steam? Well, for one, you can use valves to release steam.
Oh, and it's a steamin pile of **** too. So it works both ways.
OK, so yea, because Steam is so worthless, you cannot play any of those games now. Yea, including Portal. I know it sucks, but hey we have a solution! Go and delete all these files listed on our wiki!
Hmmm, that didn't work? OK, try verifying all these game files.
Wow, that didn't work either? Try going into all these files that don't exist, never existed, and were never created.
Oh, right. So, last resort, we're stuck for ideas... Um... we blame your firewall and router. Yes yes, I know nothing's changed. But this way, you can spend hours ******* around without bugging us. Oh, and we don't have an 800 number you can call, all yo get is this useless e-mail support which we respond to when we're not getting hammered. Oh well, thanks for your cash! We needed a new bottle of Jose!
Oh, and it's a steamin pile of **** too. So it works both ways.
OK, so yea, because Steam is so worthless, you cannot play any of those games now. Yea, including Portal. I know it sucks, but hey we have a solution! Go and delete all these files listed on our wiki!
Hmmm, that didn't work? OK, try verifying all these game files.
Wow, that didn't work either? Try going into all these files that don't exist, never existed, and were never created.
Oh, right. So, last resort, we're stuck for ideas... Um... we blame your firewall and router. Yes yes, I know nothing's changed. But this way, you can spend hours ******* around without bugging us. Oh, and we don't have an 800 number you can call, all yo get is this useless e-mail support which we respond to when we're not getting hammered. Oh well, thanks for your cash! We needed a new bottle of Jose!
So anyone seen this error before?