Thanks again for the info about the behavior settings. That pretty much solved all the problems I was having with the AI and now I'm breezing along quite nicely.
I've decided to start with a nice, if somewhat dull, lawful-good type character and not **** off Alastair and Leiliana. Next run though I'll be a little more...ethically colorful...and see if I can't get myself on the good side of the more amoral NPCs.
I did decide to find a mod to change Alastair's appearance. Seriously, I just couldn't take him seriously with the front of his hair sticking up, much less try to romance him. I kept having dialogue from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer running through my head, when the BuffyBot declares, "Angel's lame. His hair goes straight up, and he's bloody stupid."
This is my Alastair. Won't make him any smarter, but at least I won't feel like I'm wooing a Backstreet Boy.