Some feedback:
I think that it would be a good idea to do a hard reset on the blog.
The structure of your idea needs to be organized before it's conveyed to the public. Categorizing your subjects into world, magic, combat...that's not a bad idea at all. Problem is, you've put the cart before the horse. You need to sell your readers on your premises first. See, your writing reads a bit like a stream-of-consciousness. It's clear that the ideas are vivid in your head, but as a side-effect, it seems that you're having trouble perceiving that your readers need to be led on at a slow, regimented pace. Problems like that are bound to happen when you have a big idea that you're excited about, especially when you've been thinking about it for a while. You want to race to put it all down, but unfortunately it'll come out jumbled as a result.
Hence the idea of the reset. Take some time, organize your thoughts, and then put them into post. Think about how you'd paint a large picture. You wouldn't throw down a messy foundation of color, then start rapid-fire painting all the fine details in it, jumping back and forth between them. Rather, you'd set a nice foundation, then slowly coax out the rest, gradually fleshing in all of the nice details when there was nothing else left.
Your writing (and really, the entire way that one thinks about game development) should be the same way. You want to sell us on your world. Awesome. But I think first you should sell us on everything before that. That's the "Why I'm doing this." And the "Here are some of the (general) things that I think are important." Stuff like that. There are probably quite a few posts to be had out of each of those subjects, right off the get. Each such post needs structure and focus. As a reader, I can't mentally follow the specifics of your game yet. I barely understand the world that you're trying to craft, and already we're talking about elemental wheels and trigger effects? Too soon. Spread things out. Work from general to specific across weeks or months, not within a single post.
Here's a quick sketch of how you might structure it (where each "-" is a post)
- Intro/Why I'm doing this (could be a bit larger, no problem)
- Why I'm doing this, part deux (now with more exposition!)
- Some of my generalized thoughts on the state of MMORPGs (their strengths & faults, and the missed opportunities)
- How my ideas for the game came about (with references to ideas of previous posts, & maybe some quick notes on the game world as relevant)
- The game world (very generalized setting and lore)
- The game world, part deux (a little more specific)
- Races (very general)
- Races, part deux (slightly more specific)
- Classes (very general)
- Classes, part deux (slightly more specific)
-The game world (even more specific)
-Races (even more specific)
etc. etc. Heck, even that might be moving too fast. Pepper in examples from other games, as well as rhetoric that explains how your vision has structured each of the design decisions that you've made. Be sure to hit on why each of your ideas represent an improvement, and what the consequences will be on the whole. (As a side note, don't feel that you have to stay completely on task with a blog. You can occasionally mix in a post about another subject, like a game you just played, or a life story, and then tie it in to game development, or even your game).
Blogs are a tricky thing. It can be tough to figure out how formal you want them to be, and what tone to take. I strongly recommend taking a few days combing the internet for good blogs, and analyzing the writing techniques used. There's nothing wrong with being informal, so long as you can maintain clarity. Consistency of style is key. Spell check, but don't use it as a substitute for your own edits. Read and edit everything you write at least three times before you press "send."
I gave everything a full read through. There are good ideas to be found, for sure. I'm liking the fractured world idea in particular. That's a setting that's chock full of design possibilities. Lots of good stuff. But before critiquing the specifics, I think I'd rather see those topics after their foundation has been laid, and then they've been given a full post or two to themselves for exposition. Then I can understand things better, and respond to them knowing where you're coming from.
Just gotta keep training those writing skills. Communicating your ideas is a tough, but worthwhile skill for a developer. Keep it up. If you can field criticism well, and are willing to be patient with the process, then you'll improve by leaps and bounds.
Edited, Jun 19th 2011 11:53pm by Eske