I feel your pain.
I could only imagine what it must be like to lose FFXI like that, I mean a game that takes months IRL time for your character to take a ****. The tediousness alone stands testament to how patient you are. I remember that game quite well, it was like watching paint dry in a sauna. I got all the way into the upper 70's in that game, then something strange happened. I realized the game for the piece of **** that it is, so I quit. All those hours of standing around LFG, and scratching my large balls all gone to waste, but never to return again. It was gratifying pyrrhic victory. It is a loss I do not mourn nor regret.
I recommend you do the same.