Post some funny jokes! =DFollow

Court Records
> >
> >
> > These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
> > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
> > published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
> > these exchanges were actually taking place.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: Are you sexually active?
> >
> >
> > A: No, I just lie there.
> >
> >
> > _______________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: What is your date of birth?
> >
> >
> > A: July 18th.
> >
> >
> > Q: What year?
> >
> >
> > A: Every year.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> >
> >
> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> >
> >
> > A: Yes.
> >
> >
> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> >
> >
> > A: I forget.
> >
> >
> > Q:You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've
> > forgotten?
> >
> >
> > _____________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> >
> >
> > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> >
> >
> > Q: How long has he lived with you?
> >
> >
> > A: Forty-five years.
> >
> >
> > _____________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
> > that
> > morning?
> >
> >
> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> >
> >
> > Q: And why did that upset you?
> >
> >
> > A: My name is Susan.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or
> > the
> > occult?
> >
> >
> > A: We both do.
> >
> >
> > Q: Voodoo?
> >
> >
> > A: We do.
> >
> >
> > Q: You do?
> >
> >
> > A: Yes, voodoo.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
> >
> >
> > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> >
> >
> > A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> >
> >
> > ___________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
> >
> >
> > _____________________________________
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> >
> >
> > A: Yes.
> >
> >
> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: She had three children, right?
> >
> >
> > A: Yes.
> >
> >
> > Q: How many were boys?
> >
> >
> > A: None.
> >
> >
> > Q: Were there any girls?
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> >
> >
> > A: By death.
> >
> >
> > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Can you describe the individual?
> >
> >
> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> >
> >
> > Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
> >
> >
> > notice which I sent to your attorney?
> >
> >
> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> >
> >
> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> >
> >
> > A: Oral.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> >
> >
> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> >
> >
> > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> >
> >
> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
> > autopsy.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________
> >
> >
> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
> > pulse?
> >
> >
> > A: No.
> >
> >
> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> >
> >
> > A: No.
> >
> >
> > Q: Did you check for breathing?
> >
> >
> > A: No.
> >
> >
> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
> > the
> > autopsy?
> >
> >
> > A: No.
> >
> >
> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> >
> >
> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> >
> >
> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> >
> >
> > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
> > law
> > somewhere.
> >

Here are 3 jokes.

Katie

Empyre

The Dutch

France.

Karg The Vile wrote:


what the f*ck? somebody already posted the joke dumbass!

There was a second grade teacher reading her class the three little pigs.
She says:" The little pig asked the man if he could have so hay to build his house,
and do you what the man said?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and says:
"Holy **** a talking pig!"


A college profressor was talking to her class about thier upcoming exam.
"There is absoluteing no excuse for missing this exam"
A male student raise his hand and asks:
"What about sexual exhaustion?"
The class laughs and the profressor not missing a beat says:
"Then you will just have to write with your other hand."