April Fools DayFollow

So the school just called. Apparently [Insert Yodaspawn's name here] was dared to run down the hallway only wearing underwear. Worst part he had to yell out I'm free. So anyway. He is on his way home. What should I do with him? Duct tape?

Are you fond of animals, and are you also a strong marketing talent who can sell fashion products manufactured by some of the world's most exotic breeds? So join us from the start, when we launch 'Marius' bag collection.

Get Marius to live on hundreds of woman arms
Zoo is undergoing an exciting development, where we are in the process of expanding its core business. Since early 2014 we have continuously put animals aside for other purposes, and you will now have the opportunity to play a key role in our bag collection produced by, among other giraffe, lion and Lar gibbon hitting stores in April. The collection will be sold in leading lifestyle stores as well as at special stalls set in front of the surviving animal cages at the zoo.

Our director, said:
"We hope that the Danes will welcome the new products. Zoo wants to show how exotic animals can be used for anything other than Sunday outings and breeding programs. And we are very pleased that nothing goes to waste when these noble beasts make wooden shoes. " (edit: This translation is hilarious. It's a very literal translation of "to set aside one's clogs", which is an idiom for dying.)

Larger series underway
Over the coming weeks, more products will be released and will among other things include roller suitcases of turtle shells, shoulder bags made ​​of lion shoulders and a larger series of wallets that are both made ​​of - and smells - gnu.

Be the lions marketing king
You get the daily responsibility for the management of marketing which include one marketing consultant and two trained chimpanzees. You will also be responsible for developing, refining and implementing communication strategies and promotional activities, but you're not too proud to take hold with no sewing machine or power saw during peak congested periods.

Ambitious and zoocial marketinghaj

You are probably trained marketing strategist, zookeeper or butcher.
You have experience in managing both people and animals, and your colleagues see you as a bit of a horse whisperer.
You have a commercial mindset and press flair, and you are able to do dead animals into a success story.
As a person you are outgoing and take your good mood to work. It is important that when you press contexts defends the killing of healthy zoo animals wearing the obligatory zebra-striped suits that come with the job. You are also interested fashion and animal happy - but probably more the former than the latter.

Show text to boss, go home. If it's real, you can deal with the situation. If it isn't, free day off. Win/win.

I hate this holiday, and it's starting early this year. Let's get this sh*t over with.

Google is fresh out the gate with Google Maps: Pokémon Challenge.