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#52 Jul 14 2015 at 2:16 PM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie,

I hope you're just trolling because nothing good can come from this. Your rationalization is creepy. What you're doing is wrong, wrong, wrong.
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#53 Jul 14 2015 at 2:57 PM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
And there lies the problem. You would assume. They would assume. Everyone assumes. I don't have to assume, because I already know I am no harm to anyone.
It has nothing to do with what you know but how its perceived by her family. If they're good with it, then I guess you're most likely fine. Right now, it appears though that you're assuming her family is fine because you believe they know and aren't reacting. Take the time to check with them, and cover your ***.
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#54 Jul 14 2015 at 3:28 PM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
And there lies the problem. You would assume. They would assume. Everyone assumes. I don't have to assume, because I already know I am no harm to anyone.
It has nothing to do with what you know but how its perceived by her family. If they're good with it, then I guess you're most likely fine. Right now, it appears though that you're assuming her family is fine because you believe they know and aren't reacting. Take the time to check with them, and cover your ***.


Fair enough. I'll think of a way to not make it sound really weird then ask her about it next time she calls. She actually hasn't said anything much to me these past couple of days though.
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#55 Jul 14 2015 at 3:35 PM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
Uglysasquatch wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
And there lies the problem. You would assume. They would assume. Everyone assumes. I don't have to assume, because I already know I am no harm to anyone.
It has nothing to do with what you know but how its perceived by her family. If they're good with it, then I guess you're most likely fine. Right now, it appears though that you're assuming her family is fine because you believe they know and aren't reacting. Take the time to check with them, and cover your ***.


Fair enough. I'll think of a way to not make it sound really weird then ask her about it next time she calls. She actually hasn't said anything much to me these past couple of days though.


I may be reading this wrong, but are you saying you're going to ask the little girl if her parents say it's ok for you to be talking to her?
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#56 Jul 14 2015 at 4:03 PM Rating: Good
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Hey. It's not my idea T_T

Edit;

Talking to her now. I honestly cannot think of a single way to ask about that. I mean. She's not an idiot. I don't have to talk to her like she's a baby. It sounds really weird when you refer to her as "little girl" because if she had never told me I'd have never guessed. I suppose if it ever came down to it her mom or adult sister might want to talk to me and I'd gladly talk to her about whatever they might have to say.

Edited, Jul 14th 2015 11:17pm by Kuwoobie
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#57 Jul 14 2015 at 5:26 PM Rating: Decent
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Ok, I'm only posting again out of concern for this little girl. I don't think you're getting it. Context is irrelevant here. what you are doing is ****** up regardless of your intentions. The thought process you're displaying here SCREAMS get my kid away from you. You're two rationalizations away from Michael Jackson here...

Why is your 9 year old talking to anyone on the internet you don't personally know? Am I out to lunch here or is this odd?


..this has to be a troll right?
#58 Jul 14 2015 at 5:37 PM Rating: Good
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Yodabunny wrote:
Ok, I'm only posting again out of concern for this little girl. I don't think you're getting it. Context is irrelevant here. what you are doing is ****** up regardless of your intentions. The thought process you're displaying here SCREAMS get my kid away from you. You're two rationalizations away from Michael Jackson here...


..this has to be a troll right?


You are also missing a lot of information, and jumping to conclusions.

Quote:

Why is your 9 year old talking to anyone on the internet you don't personally know? Am I out to lunch here or is this odd?


My stepdaughter talks to people from all over the world. Every day. It is the age we live in. She plays games like Dragon Nest and Roblox and interacts with new people constantly. We trust she is smart enough to know when and when not to continue to talking to them and why. Just like with Bloss-- she's not an idiot. I get the feeling most of you have a very unrealistic idea of what these girls are like. They aren't babies. They don't need to be sheltered from everything and kept from talking to people in different time zones. As the owner of a semi-popular Minecraft server, I have young kids come to me every day with problems, as well as teenagers and adults. Most of the are server related, and most of the time I never talk to them again thereafter. As for Bloss, it is good to feel like I'm important in someone's life for a change. I don't need to be a qualified professional to help her with her problems, as 99% of them are made better for her just by my being there to listen.
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#59 Jul 14 2015 at 5:47 PM Rating: Decent
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No, I don't think YOU know what young girls are like. An 11 year old can sound as mature as they want but they don't think like an adult. They are incapable of proper risk assessment or thought out future planning (among about a million other things). It's not a life experience thing, it's not a some kids are more advanced thing, an 11 year old brain has not developed to a point where they can have a conversation with an adult and understand if they are being manipulated or not. They CAN however manipulate and do so without thought to the consequences because, once again, they can't properly assess risk. It's not about how smart you think they are, they just can't make proper decisions. You've specified at least 3 situations you've "helped" her with that illustrate that and the potential harm you are causing. For **** sakes you're entertaining the idea of adopting this kid you've never met and haven't even spoken to her parents, even if you never intend to follow through with that the thought shouldn't even pop into your head..
#60 Jul 14 2015 at 6:34 PM Rating: Good
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I guess my issue here is twofold:

1. No 11 year old should be spending 9 hour stretches on the internet in any form. Where's the parental supervision? Where's the structure? Doesn't she have other things she should be doing? I get that she may very well be in a poor home situation. But that's part of the problem. Everything you've described about her screams chaotic home life. That's something most people should just walk away from (or run away from). Which brings me to number...

2. You're not helping her. If you want to help her, that's great, but you need to do so via normal above board means. Hanging out on the net with her for 9 hour stretches is just enabling her. Getting involved via the net isn't providing structure, or fixing her home situation at all. She's using the net as a "fix" for her problems (or possibly using it to add to them). You're basically filling the roll of drug dealer here, which isn't helping.


If you really want to help, then get involved in actual programs that help kids in this sort of situation and advise her to reach out to such things as well. You may not be able to help her directly, but then again, you really shouldn't. She (or someone else in her family) has to do that. You can choose to help out with the sorts of resources said people need (thus adding to the pool of such resources), but you should *not* attempt to directly involve yourself personally in this. You're only going to get dragged into her problems doing that, and as several people have pointed out, leave yourself open to the potential of others misinterpreting your interest. You mentioned that she previously communicated with an older man who did ask for nude pics and whatnot. Has it occurred to you that some kids, especially those who have suffered abuse, tend to continue to seek out the very sort of abuse they suffered earlier? You may not have any harmful intentions towards her, but she may be seeking harm from you (consciously or not). Actually, I'd give incredibly high odds that's exactly what she's looking for. Which means she likely does not see the relationship the same way you do, and if she communicates to anyone else her version of said relationship, it'll look really really bad for you.


Yeah, it really is a trap. One you should avoid falling into.
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#61 Jul 14 2015 at 7:10 PM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
Hey. It's not my idea T_T
Actually, it was. I'm pretty sure the intent of what I said, clearly read as "talk to her sister/mother, not her." Talking to her doesn't cover your *** in anyway.
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#62 Jul 14 2015 at 7:31 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
1. No 11 year old should be spending 9 hour stretches on the internet in any form. Where's the parental supervision? Where's the structure? Doesn't she have other things she should be doing? I get that she may very well be in a poor home situation. But that's part of the problem. Everything you've described about her screams chaotic home life. That's something most people should just walk away from (or run away from). Which brings me to number...


As chaotic as it sounds, it is the norm. I didn't grow up any differently, and neither has anyone I've ever heard of. One would think that if talking to her parents was a valid option for her she wouldn't be talking to me about all of these things to begin with.

Quote:
2. You're not helping her. If you want to help her, that's great, but you need to do so via normal above board means. Hanging out on the net with her for 9 hour stretches is just enabling her. Getting involved via the net isn't providing structure, or fixing her home situation at all. She's using the net as a "fix" for her problems (or possibly using it to add to them). You're basically filling the roll of drug dealer here, which isn't helping.


No. It doesn't actually fix anything, but as she has told me, it helps to reduce her stress, as simply talking about things will do. As for the 9 hour calls-- they usually occur while we are all (Bloss, Erica the stepdaughter, Shany the wife, and myself) playing a game together where communication tends to be fairly important. In what way does that make me even remotely akin to a drug dealer exactly?

Quote:
If you really want to help, then get involved in actual programs that help kids in this sort of situation and...


AHAHA! Yeah ******* right! And subject myself to all the same exact kinds of criticisms I'm facing here some more, by people I know even less, with a much greater risk of actual consequences? You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to grow up and become a teacher. The older I became, the more I realized how bad of an idea that was, and this thread is proof of that. --and NO, it wouldn't make a flick of difference whether or not I talked to them for 5 minutes or 9 hours, or what the subject matter was, or for what reason. Is it not completely obvious?

Quote:
Has it occurred to you that some kids, especially those who have suffered abuse, tend to continue to seek out the very sort of abuse they suffered earlier? You may not have any harmful intentions towards her, but she may be seeking harm from you (consciously or not).


I'm perfectly aware of this possibility. Having talked to her as much as I have, I don't believe it to be an issue here. Should that ever turn out to actually be the case, it will be then that I decide to block communications with her. But again, I really don't think it is likely.
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#63 Jul 14 2015 at 7:32 PM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
Hey. It's not my idea T_T
Actually, it was. I'm pretty sure the intent of what I said, clearly read as "talk to her sister/mother, not her." Talking to her doesn't cover your *** in anyway.


I have to talk to her in order to talk to them. It's not like I have their contact information readily available.
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#64 Jul 14 2015 at 9:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
As for the 9 hour calls-- they usually occur while we are all (Bloss, Erica the stepdaughter, Shany the wife, and myself) playing a game together
Kuwoobie previously wrote:
Since then, she has video/voice called me just to talk nearly every day-- with calls frequently exceeding 9+ hours. With my wife being away much of the time with her new job as an RN, it was great to have someone keeping me company without having to be asked.

mmhmm...
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#65 Jul 14 2015 at 9:54 PM Rating: Good
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It's pretty clear, even to you, that what you are doing is inappropriate. Otherwise you wouldn't have questioned it.

And no, it's not normal for a child to talk for 9 hours straight on the phone (or skype, same thing) with anyone, even a family member.

The relationship is unhealthy for all persons involved. And dangerous for you, for obvious reasons.

We got some serious Michael Jackson issues going on here...

Edited, Jul 14th 2015 11:55pm by TirithRR
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#66 Jul 15 2015 at 6:14 AM Rating: Good
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You all keep saying Michael Jackson this and Michael Jackson that. The things he was accused of are things I couldn't do even if I wanted to. So yeah, keep desperately overreaching and confusing words like "adopt" with "kidnap" and see where your imagination takes you.

I had my doubts at first, sure. It's because we live in a society where teachers and other people who work with children have to live with themselves every day knowing that some day they're going to tell some punk-*** kid to stop chewing gum in their class only to have them retaliate by going home and telling their mom they grabbed his *** and have 9 of his friends back him up.

I guess it doesn't seem quite as strange to me because of the culture I live in online where people of all ages mix together and nobody really knows how old anyone else is unless they come right out and say it-- whereas then they could be lying so still no one really knows.
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#67 Jul 15 2015 at 6:48 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
As for the 9 hour calls-- they usually occur while we are all (Bloss, Erica the stepdaughter, Shany the wife, and myself) playing a game together
Kuwoobie previously wrote:
Since then, she has video/voice called me just to talk nearly every day-- with calls frequently exceeding 9+ hours. With my wife being away much of the time with her new job as an RN, it was great to have someone keeping me company without having to be asked.

mmhmm...


Wow. Alternating occurrences of the same event couldn't possibly have different results, could they. If it happens some of the time that just means it happens all of the time if you want to believe hard enough. The qualifier was "usually" meaning yes there are times we talk without anyone else involved but usually we spend time as a family. I shouldn't have to explain things like this.
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#68 Jul 15 2015 at 6:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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So your wife is away "much of the time" so you appreciate the company but you "usually" spend 9+ hour conversations with your wife.

Look, I'm glad that you're convinced since you're the one who has to live with yourself. I doubt anyone else is.
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#69 Jul 15 2015 at 7:27 AM Rating: Good
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You are just missing a lot of information that hasn't been made up yet, and jumping to conclusions.
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#70 Jul 15 2015 at 7:57 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
You are just missing a lot of information that hasn't been made up yet, and jumping to conclusions.


No actually. Now he's stretching one little line of information any way he can to try and fit it into his argument. Because, you know, my wife can't possibly have days off or something where we all spend time together. If one thing happens one way it MUST be that way 100% of the time! -- as if it mattered either way.

I'd really expect better from you all. I had anticipated at least a dozen other things you could have picked at, yet for some reason it is the length of some of my conversations that is just so gosh darn disturbing.

It all just looks so small and petty. From what I can make of it, we have a really good friend. She won't be so young forever, or even for very long, and none of the things you're talking about will matter anymore. Perhaps in ten years or so, we'll still be friends. Maybe she'll be married and have kids of her own. Worst case scenario-- she'll become so busy with her friends and relationships closer to her that she won't care to talk to us anymore-- like literally every other online friend I've ever had has done.
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#71 Jul 15 2015 at 8:09 AM Rating: Good
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How dreadfully inconsiderate of people to question the inconsistencies of the constantly changing story.
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#72 Jul 15 2015 at 8:12 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
How dreadfully inconsiderate of people to question the inconsistencies of the constantly changing story.


The only inconsistencies are in your imaginations and lack of reading comprehension. Try harder next time.
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#73 Jul 15 2015 at 8:39 AM Rating: Good
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Kuwoobie wrote:
Try harder next time.
Don't throw temper tantrums when you have to add new details to try to fix your bad writing.
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#74 Jul 15 2015 at 8:45 AM Rating: Excellent
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Kuwoobie wrote:
No actually. Now he's stretching one little line of information any way he can to try and fit it into his argument.

There's no "Argument" to be made here. We're not debating mountaintop coal mining or something. There is a 100% consensus that you're ******** up -- I don't need to convince anyone with clever wordplay or twisting your posts. You're the one backpedaling from your previous posts because you're trying to convince yourself that what you're doing isn't completely f--ked up.

Granted, I doubt anyone is seriously trying to help any longer at this point either since you've done a 180 from "Yeah, you guys are right" to "OMG you're all so dramatic! I posted this as a trap to see how dramatic you'd be! There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing..."

Edit: Really, Google? "Screwing"? How are we supposed to discuss carpentry and home repairs?

Edited, Jul 15th 2015 9:46am by Jophiel
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#75 Jul 15 2015 at 9:16 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Kuwoobie wrote:
Try harder next time.
Don't throw temper tantrums when you have to add new details to try to fix your bad writing.


Haha. Ok. As long as it's bad writing and not inconsistencies.
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#76 Jul 15 2015 at 9:18 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:

Granted, I doubt anyone is seriously trying to help any longer at this point either since you've done a 180 from "Yeah, you guys are right" to "OMG you're all so dramatic! I posted this as a trap to see how dramatic you'd be! There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing..."


Edited, Jul 15th 2015 9:46am by Jophiel


Yeah. Well I've had time to think about it, and it is clear now. The purpose of this thread has been fulfilled.

Edit:

--and yeah, you started out sounding a lot more reasonable. Then Yoda and others came in going way over the deep end.

Edited, Jul 15th 2015 3:20pm by Kuwoobie
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