Hello again everyone, it is me Weakness.
Well for those of you who have read my other posts this kind of has something to do with those. What I would like to know is how other people feel about their relationships with other people in game, whether or not they consider those people on their friends list to be honest friends or just someone they know in a game that they play.
Do to the recent Superwittykitty events as of late I have lost quite a few friends. And when I have talked about it to people they seem to be unsympathetic to how I feel. After this whole thing I sucked up my pride, grew some balls, and called the guy out on it and it was in hopes of nobody else getting hurt the way I did. But what seems to have happened is that everyone either mocks me for the whole thing or says I tried to get to emotional about a game. And I have honest to god gotten people I do not even know mock me over the events as of late.
I for one feel I develop personal relationships with people. Some talk about how it is just a game and emotion shouldn't get involved, and I see how they could feel that way. But for me personally I do not have an in game persona so to speak, the way and how I talk to people is the same as I would with any person in real life. I like to see the people who I add to my friends list as actually friends, hell most of them have my e-mail and cell phone number and I do talk with them regularly and not just on an in game basis. I consider these people to be my friends and I have a personal relationship and attachment to them.
Anyway all I want to know from you people is whether or not you feel that you actually have any friends or if everyone is just someone you know in a game and you have no emotional attachment to them.
Thank you for reading and any posts.
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I don't think it's a point of no emotions. Rather being over emotional..
as for people mocking you, well look at it like this. at least more then 50% of the players in this game a kids (Under the age of 21). So it's what they do teasing is part of life.
another thing is although I do think what happened to you is messed up I think you are holding on to what happened more then you need to. In game relationships (either friendship or b/f-g/f) really don't hold much water and really should not impact your r/l, since in all honesty they will never be anything more then that in-game.
Let me ask you this. If you were to quit FFXI can you say that you will honestly ever talk to anyone you talk to in game ever again?
Most likely not, since it will have no real impact on your r/l. What you going to ask them what happened in the game that day? What do you really think you would have in common with them.
I don't mean to sound harsh but you are taking the life inside a game a little to close to heart. It is just a game, it's one thing to make friends in the game, hey you talk over the phone that's cool. I mean My LS is planning a r/l get together (although I won't be able to make it) but at the same I know there is a difference between what real and what’s not.
What you did posting about what happened to you at the cause of SWK took a lot of courage. I give you that. You did your part letting others know, now I think it's time you just moved on.
as for people mocking you, well look at it like this. at least more then 50% of the players in this game a kids (Under the age of 21). So it's what they do teasing is part of life.
another thing is although I do think what happened to you is messed up I think you are holding on to what happened more then you need to. In game relationships (either friendship or b/f-g/f) really don't hold much water and really should not impact your r/l, since in all honesty they will never be anything more then that in-game.
Let me ask you this. If you were to quit FFXI can you say that you will honestly ever talk to anyone you talk to in game ever again?
Most likely not, since it will have no real impact on your r/l. What you going to ask them what happened in the game that day? What do you really think you would have in common with them.
I don't mean to sound harsh but you are taking the life inside a game a little to close to heart. It is just a game, it's one thing to make friends in the game, hey you talk over the phone that's cool. I mean My LS is planning a r/l get together (although I won't be able to make it) but at the same I know there is a difference between what real and what’s not.
What you did posting about what happened to you at the cause of SWK took a lot of courage. I give you that. You did your part letting others know, now I think it's time you just moved on.
I too play the game as who I am in RL - which means that I sometimes make mistakes and mis-read people.
With FFXI, just like in RL, there are scam artists; there are people who will represent themselves as something they aren't just to satisfy some need that they have or to just be able to say they controlled another person for whatever brief time. Do others sometimes get hurt - yes. Does the fact that "it's just a game" make it an "anything goes" environment - it shouldn't.
There is no perfect world - regardless of whether it's FFXI or RL. There will always be people who prey on others (just for the fun of it), there will always be people who mock others (just because it makes them feel bigger and better), and there will always be people who are sincere and kind.
Just like in RL, the trick is to find the balance, to find the people we can connect with, that we can trust (but take your time in giving out that trust).
I've got RL friends that play the game - I'm fortunate in that because it gives me a balance, allows me to trust. I also have online, in-game friends - some I feel comfortable trusting, others I hold at arm's length still.
To those that mock you, just laugh (because one day they will walk in your shoes too - Karma is a wonderful thing).
Have a good day and keep your chin up!
Zuzeeque
With FFXI, just like in RL, there are scam artists; there are people who will represent themselves as something they aren't just to satisfy some need that they have or to just be able to say they controlled another person for whatever brief time. Do others sometimes get hurt - yes. Does the fact that "it's just a game" make it an "anything goes" environment - it shouldn't.
There is no perfect world - regardless of whether it's FFXI or RL. There will always be people who prey on others (just for the fun of it), there will always be people who mock others (just because it makes them feel bigger and better), and there will always be people who are sincere and kind.
Just like in RL, the trick is to find the balance, to find the people we can connect with, that we can trust (but take your time in giving out that trust).
I've got RL friends that play the game - I'm fortunate in that because it gives me a balance, allows me to trust. I also have online, in-game friends - some I feel comfortable trusting, others I hold at arm's length still.
To those that mock you, just laugh (because one day they will walk in your shoes too - Karma is a wonderful thing).
Have a good day and keep your chin up!
Zuzeeque
That's the problem with online relationships, you dont know who's behind the computer. I cant count the number of guy friends i had on ffxi that came crying to me saying a girl did that, that girl messed with my heart etc etc....probably worst when it's a guy playing tricks on you =(
As a girl yes i've been asked many times for a relationship, and my answer was always no and i was really specific each time a guy wanted to meet me in rl, it's a game, not a dating service.
I dont believe in online relationship and i'd feel really bad about it too, i am in a situation atm, a very sweet guy i met on ffxi that lives in Toronto asked me out, i said no because i feel bad not being able to see each other as freely as we'd want to since it's a 6h drive (yes he came once for a weekend). I've knowned him for 2 years now and we still talk every now and then, he knows how i feel about this tho and respect my choice.
I quit FFXI in february and honestly i still talk to a lot of my old friends, on msn or on the phone. Most of them are in New Hampshire and we actually hang out togheter once in a while in Montreal. As a mather of fact, one of them is spending last week of july over at my place.
In my opinion relations in online games should stay only on friendly terms and not a love story, but i could be wrong afterall i know a happily married couple that met on EQ and one was from England and the other in Canada, and now they live in England and have two kids. I guess it's a game of gambling sometimes.
Sorry for the long post, just thought i'd trow im some personal experience to back up my opinions
As a girl yes i've been asked many times for a relationship, and my answer was always no and i was really specific each time a guy wanted to meet me in rl, it's a game, not a dating service.
I dont believe in online relationship and i'd feel really bad about it too, i am in a situation atm, a very sweet guy i met on ffxi that lives in Toronto asked me out, i said no because i feel bad not being able to see each other as freely as we'd want to since it's a 6h drive (yes he came once for a weekend). I've knowned him for 2 years now and we still talk every now and then, he knows how i feel about this tho and respect my choice.
I quit FFXI in february and honestly i still talk to a lot of my old friends, on msn or on the phone. Most of them are in New Hampshire and we actually hang out togheter once in a while in Montreal. As a mather of fact, one of them is spending last week of july over at my place.
In my opinion relations in online games should stay only on friendly terms and not a love story, but i could be wrong afterall i know a happily married couple that met on EQ and one was from England and the other in Canada, and now they live in England and have two kids. I guess it's a game of gambling sometimes.
Sorry for the long post, just thought i'd trow im some personal experience to back up my opinions
Quote:
In my opinion relations in online games should stay only on friendly terms and not a love story, but i could be wrong afterall i know a happily married couple that met on EQ and one was from England and the other in Canada, and now they live in England and have two kids. I guess it's a game of gambling sometimes.
I too know of a number of married couples who have met in online games.
I think online relationships can happen; the person you're talking to on the other side of the screen is a person, not just a mithra or galka... It's just much harder be sure of how they feel/if they are serious or playing with you/if they are playing as they are themselves; extra precautions are required.
But there are "players" in real life, too.
Why should a gamer guy have to go out to bars to meet a girl ? What will happen if he meets one ? She'll always want to go out, while he doesn't, most likely... (and you'll most likely be able to get her to play your favorite MMO with you. If you do, there are strong chances that she'll just burn all your gil on pretty stuff XD )
Gamer girls are at the same place gamer guys are at: in front of their computers.
You just have to take certain precautions; never trust on anything but meeting the person face to face. Never ever trust a picture (even if the person is really a girl, who's to say it's really her picture ??), and be cautious of phone calls and webcams... anything but meeting the person face to face.
I'm sometimes shy, sometimes not. I hate phones and I feel more comfortable online, since I don't *have* to always have something to say. Most boyfriends I've had, even if I was acquainted with them IRL beforehand, I got to know online or on BBS's. I remember at least 2 that I did not know IRL beforehand. One of those relationships lasted over 2 years.
So... I agree that online relationships should remain on friendly terms... until they are not purely online anymore.
2 posts
my personal opinion of having friends and relationships in game is the following, i think that it's a great oportunity to meet people and so forth, i think that for those who live in areas where there's not much to do and anyone to meet this game is a great way to make a few friends, but... just like any form of interntet it is virtually a playground for individuals that are out to hurt others or become obessessed etc. I myself have fell victim to such things, and resently put an end to it. I think making friends is fine but on line relationships it's enter at your own risk what you see isn't always what you get as you can see for yourself weakness darlin, those who make fun of you and so forth probably haven't found themselves at the end of such a rope as you have found yourself and since most of what plays this game is dudes more than likely they eventually will know what it's like. the only thing i can say is you live and you learn. don't always trust those you play the game with cause you never know if it's a mind f*ck and a half waiting to happen. personally... i've decided to tell every dude that hits on me in game i'm a **** so they will leave me the hell alone, after being stalked in game and irl by someone that's enough to make anyone have insomnia, it's a game, enjoy it that's what you pay for it for right? :P leave the love intrests to a dating service your more likely to get the right pick,that way its better than a manthra waiting to happen dear lol
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