Do I hesitate? Yes:Thoughts of a tank before and after deathFollow

THE QUESTION

If you were to ask me,"Danyu? Do you ever hesistate to voke?" naturally, offhand I would say no. I wouldn't be lying, but then again, I wouldn't be telling the truth either. The truth is...I do hesitate...sometimes...for maybe half a second...

THE FEELING BEFORE THE HESITATION

Some of you have read the stories about my early adventures, and if you recall, I started my tanking career earlier than most people. I was probably around level 7 or 8 when I had my first tanking job. I took pride in the fact that I took all the damage being dealt to the party. It was a blast, an adventure I was having with online friends. When those times came in the party that I knew I was going to die, I obviously didn't want to die, but I also didn't hesitate then. I was glad to let my character die for anyone at the time. I knew when I died I was appreciated then.

Months ago though, I hadn't ran into a single dishonest person then. I was always offered help from strangers, and always given helpful advice on what to do. A random person even checked me one time to see if I had a back equip, and gave me a rabbit mantel. Yes, I know they aren't expensive, but still it's the thought that counts, right? May sound lame - but these are the things that gave me the good feeling inside.

WAS IT ME OR SOMETHING ELSE THAT CHANGED?

These were some of the things that made me grow to love the game. Maybe it's because I've seen a little more of the game now, or ran into a bigger variety of people, but I don't have that feeling anymore...not that feeling I had when I started.

For instance, I led an estimated 9 or 10 people, completely strangers through Castle Oztroja(sp?) to the magicite for Rank 5. I'm not a high level really either. I'm a level 49(deleveled from 50 by helping someone) PLD who could easily die with two yags on the upper floors attacking me at once. After these guys got to their magicite, I only got one thank you, and it wasn't even directed at me. "thanks guys" Maybe I read into that too much, but a "thank you" actually means quite a bit for me. It means what I did was appreciated. So back to the topic at hand...

A MOMENT IN TIME

Think of this:
You are the tank. You don't have the best gear there is to offer, but you are very close to it. You're one of the only players in the party to be using food (I used fishkabobs my entire pld career thus far, and mithkabobs for my war)- Maybe it was an AOE, or maybe it was simply that the BLM overnuked and was being continually attacked, or maybe it was the THF or RNG bringing a link. Anyways, the situation comes down to this. Your entire party is low on health points. All mage users are out of magic points, and all two hours are waiting on a timer now. The mob will maybe last for another 8 seconds max. You could only sustain maybe one or two more hits, but thing is, you know you are either about to lose hate...or don't have it all already. If you did draw the mob to you, you are sure you will die without doubt. Ultimately, you have to make the decision to either voke or not voke. Now keep in mind that monk in your party didn't use a mithakabob or food to raise his STR. That whm kept overcuring, and thus wasted a good 10th of their MP. The RNG brought the link in the first place. The THF missed the SC that could've killed the mob already, or how about the blm who has an underleveled whm job and would have enough MP for a final nuke if the job was leveled? Maybe the leader said the party was ready for a certain type of mob, but you knew you guys weren't. This short space in time, this second, you think of that. This moment in time you could easily save yourself valued time and experience points. So yes, sometimes I hesitate to draw the mob towards me, because I think of this for half a second...

IM NOT JUST A RANTING TANK

I'm not ranting, believe me I'm not. Just merely stating what I've been through as a tank. I've been in these situations more than I can count. I won't lie, I consider myself a damn good tank too. I've held hate through 3 benedictions so far without the aid of Invincible, a fourth with Invincible that saved us when my party was on the verge of dying. I held hate through a three RNG party where some PLDs consider impossible(completely false!) as long as I was refreshed. I've had two party members die in my party due to me losing hate, and not able to get it back. One was a whm who hit their curaga macro on accident right after a bomb toss in qufim with provoke not ready, and the other was a ranger who was trigger happy in Crawler's Nest. Numerous compliments from higher-level PLDs who were leveling subs or other jobs, and numerous compliments from other people. The fact stands though...I have died more times than I can count, and yes, I know, that is expected given my job.

In the Dunes, I can recall a time that I died three times within 10 minutes to take on a gob we weren't suppose to be taking on. I would die, then HP, die, then HP, die, then HP. The rest of my party died one time each, most of them decidedly waiting for a raise. Qufim, I died numerous for trying to tank pugs to make up for the higher level whitemage in my party for better exp. The jungles, the puller would pull mandies too early, I would have no mp. The mandy would put everyone else to sleep, except me of course because I was being attacked by it. So I would be pounded to death with a sleeping whitemage two feet away. Heh, I died numerous times that way. The links in the jungles and Garliage Citadel...oh geez don't even get me started. It's like everyone at those places are in competition to see who can make the most links. These are only some of the deaths compared to the huge amount I have accumulated. I probably have recovered enough EXP for a spare level 30 job.

So why say this? What is the point I'm trying to make?

DYING IS NOT MY JOB, ITS A GENEROUS GIFT

Dying is not my job, though many seem to think so. Taking damage for my party is. I'm there to get experience just like everyone else is. What makes your experience points more valued than mine? When I die for a party, I'd like to know that it's more or less appreciated. Don't /cry or /comfort me. I don't need pity. I'm not scared to die, I've experienced it too much to be, and dealt with the consequences far too often. I'd rather see a /tell Thank you. I am scared that my generosity is like a C-rated movie, quickly forgotten. Often times, the parties I die in, I'll be maybe 500 tnl and someone abruptly leaves for an LS event or something they feel is more important even after announcing it to the party. They neglect the fact that I would've leveled if I hadn't died in their place. The members in my party quickly forget that I saved them all 10% of their EXP, and in some of my parties...many times more. I won't hesistate for that half a second if I know I'm more appreciated.

Besides all of this that was said here though, if and when the time calls for it, I will voke. I won't voke because I expect it to be appreciated, but I will voke because that's who I am and why I chose the job. I'll keep doing my deed, and only expect a "thanks" after.

MY PLEA

When you are going to go party, please make sure you are at least up to standards in gear and your sub that your job highly depends. When you make decisions on mobs, keep in mind who will be tanking those mobs. And when that time comes that yourr tank obviously gives his life for the party, give him a sign of your thankfulness. I honestly don't feel this is too much to ask, but I find so many who don't even meet this plea sub-par.

I think I'm done.

Feel free to criticize me, rate me down or whatever. I just felt like I had to that off my chest.

Edited, Sat Jan 8 05:42:58 2005 by Guyfrombastok

/salute Danyu

A salute is the best I can give you since we are of the same mold. Keep taking that *** whipping because I know you like it.

You know what? I really hate when the tank dies..

You wanna now why? Cuz the next one on the list, the ones who gets the hate is the one hitting harder, oh well the blm could cast a Water II trying to kill it and it would take the hate direct to him, or maybe to that whm that just used DS+Curaga, but a bit late to save the tank.

So what do i do? Let the mages die? And sit waiting for the mob to thrash me? Or just go down and save my pt, or at least the other 4 members..

Khrno then uses Stun, Provoke, Last Resort, Souleater, all the hate is on that poor elvaan DRK, the mages are using their remaining MP on the DRK, the DRK hits the mob for a total of 800+ in all his hits but finally die due to having lower defense than a BLM

3 hits later the RDM kills the mob with a Blizzard.

In the end only the 2 knights died.

That's the fate of we Knights, to die for the Mages, after that we'll be raised, but oh hell, how i hate when my tank dies >.<!

/salute Danyu

I started WHM as a sub when I first got my Subjob, and it quickly became my main. I must salute all the tanks because they make my job easier. I've been in parties without a tank and it is difficult. So thank you for doing that job. I will be doing it soon myself since I'm going after PLD next. (Why not? I already have most of the spells already. ^^ )

I don't think there's been very much emphasis on it, but WHM should also learn hate control. In fact really, all jobs do. But I just haven't heard very much of it from the WHM camp. Spamming Cure 1's when the party is doing ok for health is better than waiting for yellow and orange to blast out the Cure 2 or Cure 3 and getting a lot of hate as a concequence. Everyone be sure to mention this to the WHM in the next Dunes party you will have to endure if hate control goes bad and onto the WHM. Noob WHMs are too excited about the Cure 2 they got at lvl 11.

Thank you to all the tanks who are willing to sacrifice their own lives/XP to save the rest of the party.

Not to hijack the thread, but I'd also like to thank all the pullers who have the know-how to just die and take the death rather than dragging six mobs back to camp.

{/salute Danyu

A salute is the best I can give you since we are of the same mold. Keep taking that *** whipping because I know you like it.}

AMEN

Edited, Wed Jan 19 21:06:07 2005 by fantasygeno

That's a great attitude.

On one of my last pts i was having a terrible night, trying to get to 50, but for some and other reasons it was impossible and instead of getting 1.5k that i needed, i lost that.

One of those deaths was because i dc in the middle of a fight, when i came back all i know is that i was in the middle of 3 bats, all atacking my pt, i got a tell from the BLM, a friend from my LS asking me to stun and voke the 2 bats that almost killed him, so i did, and died after a couple of hits, but with that he could cast Escape and the other 5 members were alive, i got raised afterwards by another pt that was around.