leet's not going to be around for awhile, or so he says. so i guess it's up to those left who wants to chip in to do so. on this thread, i'd like to share a little something about myself along the way that i found motivational. i might inevitably restate somethings that i have written in the past, and for that i apologize. but bear with me, and i'll have some post or two once every few days to see how long i can keep this up. since this thread is based on how many happy/upbeat memories i have of vanadiel, and that being finite, like all others, it'll be transient. but i hope that the msg it can potential send to others is not lost.
story 1 : the day i was humbled
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this was a long time ago, in garlaige citadel, during the time i was around 49 going 50 as a pld. getting that oh-so-nicely-rounded 50 was so much harder than i imagined, cos apparently the XP down in the annals of a pest-infested ruins didn't seem as lucrative as i thought it'll have been.
among the straggly bunch was one person of particular noteworthiness, who till today still has nothing but my utmost respect for some of the words he told me that day.
as we begun, we had a rdm who was insistent on taking on the mob while trying to maintain her refresh cycle. to me, refresh at that time was an absolute boon for it vouchsafed a certain chains while without there wouldn't have been. however, while i liked the fact that she participated actively at the forefront, i was very indignant that she would do so in lieu of her refresh and dispel abilities. there were times on end that i was without refresh (for the first 3 or 4 battles) and dispels were seemingly late.
and being the high-and-mighty-player that i thought i was, i asked first other rdms (60+) that i knew what their thoughts were on the matter: melee vs magic. the answer i received bolstered i resolve--most rdms have to make a decision by the time they hit 45+. there's a lot to do, and arguably little time to do it. it is not unheard of for a rdm to give up melee-ing altogether in order to focus on magic.
so i mentioned in /party to her that she was missing out on refresh and all, and that she might be wise to stop the melee-ing. of course, no one likes to be told what to do, but i felt at that point that letting this rdm perform this role in to the exclusion of all else would ensure i don't die as often as i might have. her response wasn't very cheerful, to be expected, but i felt: hey, harm done. at least she'll do something RIGHT for a change.
a battle ensued, and again she melee-ed. i was indignant. so i sent a /tell to a little taru with two axes and sniper rings. rather than receiving a sympathetic response, i instead got back the following sobering thought:
"no one likes others to tell them what to do. it just kills the morale. she's a rdm of at least 49 lvls under her belt, so just trust that she knows her job. just sit back and take it easy." (paraphrased)
at first i was angry. sloppy play shouldn't be excused! if she can't even do her job as rdm well, why take on another role of melee-ing?
then it dawned on me. this IS a game. there are ups, there are downs. and these players that i 'command' around, thinking i know better than them? they are human too. with real feelings, and desires, and faults. i can't lord over them. i didn't want to be some tyrant and remembered in that way. and if it werent' even for the stress of getting to lvl 50, i wouldn't even have bothered about the rdm's sloppiness, so long as we're still staying alive. since when did i take lvling so seriously, that i'd forsake fun for XP?
i apologized to the little taru war, and the rdm both, in private. the rdm got happy, and worked out stuff with me to ensure i had refresh. the taru... is a taru. :p i died 5 times that day, and we swapped many a member for that closing 6 hour stint. but i can safely say i've never felt more happy about finally getting lvl 50 than i was with my previous 49 lvls.
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