Dear Everyone,
This is going to come as perhaps a shock to people. I'm sorry that I didn't warn you. In some ways it took me by storm.
I'm leaving the game indefinitely. I will NOT sell my account. So if you do see me on, it's me. So far, I think I'll probably activate it every 2 months so SE doesn't delete it just yet.
So why this decision... it's the events of late that's lead up to it, each very subtle. As some of you may know, I pondered about why people play this game. What is it that drives them to spend so much time on it. Whatever it is... I have an idea but no real solid defendable thesis; however, all in all, I think I have something greater that drives me.
Some of the events that push me beyond this point being able to attend some of the lectures offered by the International Space University. The people there are people of excellent calibre and the instructors have outstanding merits. They and their achievements is a testament and inspiration for me to fully pursue my dreams and find my own accomplishments. To know that I was here before I pass on to my next life... To drive myself to be something more in this world and in this short life of mine... When I think of what I would do if I had 6 months left to live, I would not include leveling my character as one of them. It's time to act according to my priorities.
Secondly, when I came home one night, I was one of two people on the bus. A man was huddled looking at this photo. He suddenly broke out of his poise and thrust the picture in my face. He said, “See isn’t he cute? What would you do if you had that?†It was a picture of his 4-month old boy. His wife was depressed after coming off all those crazy chemicals your body produces when its pregnant and started drinking. He worked in construction and his life wasn’t easy. But seeing him hold that picture and saying those worlds over and over again in his absolute bliss made me realize that there are greater happiness to be discovered in this world. Things like that can make a world of difference… I wasn’t going to find this in the game, not anything to that magnitude anyway.
And this weekend, I did a lot of stuff with friends in my area that I’ve had not spent much time with. I realized that I miss that too… I miss sitting in park and listening to Jazz concerts... I miss climbing my mountains... I miss real world hugs... I miss the chill of the night as I stay out to watch the stars... I miss the chance of going out and maybe meeting my potential life-partner. I was earlier putting up photos of my road trip, just the very best of the best only. And it made me cry with joy to remember all those great memories, discoveries, and adventures. This is another thing FFXI can’t quite deliver on. I thought about FFXI a little, but really I didn’t miss it all that much.
That being said, I’ve definitely enjoyed the time I spent in the LS with all of you. Everyone was amazingly supportive to help me out and I will always remember that. But even though “adventuring†is part of the fun in the game… nothing can compare to the adventures the world we truly live in. Much of the landscape I see in FFXI, I have been fortunate to explore in real life. If you go out to Arches National Park, Utah, you’ll notice that Buburimu Peninsula resembles some of the structures found there for an example. One of my dreams is to travel the world and see more of nature’s wonders. The FFXI is great if traveling is not a possibility for you.
There’s probably more to this than what I can say in words. But in the end, I have to pursue my passions… but I’ll never forget the moments I’ve had with all of you. I'm glad at least that I am leaving for happier reasons. Good luck with your own paths.
Moreana