Well, this one's a bit tricky to answer. I don't think most guys are "turned off" by intelligence in a woman. I think what turns off most guys about intelligent women is the oddball idea that intelligence should be *all* the guy should care about (which if you've ever seen and laughed at a film like Porky's, you know is horribly false).
What I've seen is that many "intelligent" women come to the conclusion that it's somehow degrading for them to make any effort to appeal to the physical side of the attraction equation. They'll wear their lack of makeup, plain-jane clothes, and non-flirtatiousness like a badge of membership into the "intelligent women's club" and then wonder why they have no dates on a Friday night...
My roomate is a classic example of this. Very intelligent woman (not quite as smart as me, but then who is?... ;) ). She's getting her PhD in ancient history right now, and plans to work in academia (professor). I've known here for over ten years via a pretty tight circle of friends. I've seen her in a bathing suit. She's got a pretty decent body. I've seen here when she's actually dolled up in a formal or semi-formal (tons of events, wedding, and whatnot with the aforementioned circle of friends). She can look pretty darn good when she takes the time to. However, on the average day, she wears no makeup. She wears pretty conservative clothing. Her hair is just kinda there (not styled in any particular way).
This would be fine (I have no requirement for her to change her appearance). However, we've often had conversations (initiated by her), where she essentially ******* about why otherwise intelligent men always seem to go for the "bimbos". She's specifically talking about other PhD type folks, and who they choose as dates/partners/spouses. For all her "intelligence", she's honestly bewildered as to why a professor would choose to date a sexy hottie with all her assets out for everyone to see instead of someone his intellectual equal.
Um... It's not about being intimidated. Guys date hotties if and when they can. Let's face it. No one ever had an erotic fantasy about their frumpy highschool English teacher. They probably did have a few about the hot girls gym coach. You just can't ignore the physical side of the equation. If you are intelligent, that does not mean you have to play down your physical attributes, yet that's often exactly what many intelligent women do. I can't tell if you're intelligent by looking at you, but I can tell if you look hot. When a guy is scoping out a room for someone to hit on, he's looking for two things: Physical appearance, and apparent flirtatiousness. That's what's going to get him to walk over and start talking. Even in a more relaxed social setting, if I'm having a conversation with a group of people, and in that group, there's one woman who's made up and dressed seductively and is flirting with me, and the other one isn't, guess who I'm going to pay more attention to?
Sure. I'll want intelligent conversation from a woman eventually, but look at it this way. I'd ideally like a woman who is both sexy and smart. If I hit on women who are sexy, eventually one of them may be smart as well, and I'm in good shape. If I hit on a woman who's unwilling to be sexy in a social situation (where I'm presumably meeting her for the first time anyway), odds are, no matter how smart she is, she'll never be "sexy". It's just a matter of playing the odds...
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King Nobby wrote:
More words please