I finally figured out what was wrong with my USB ports.
They somehow got disabled in the BIOs. ****! So simple, took em out for around 3 months. A computer savy friend got on, took him 10 minutes to figure out the problem.
How the hell do your USB ports "somehow" get disabled under bios? those are always on by default unless someone was ******** with your bios settings. Glad you got it fixed!