Open Letter to my Idiot Boss.Follow

My Dear Madam:
It has come to my attention that you are, in fact, a brain-dead mongoloid. While not apparent at first glance, further interaction proves what the normal sized forehead hides. You lack of comprehension of even the basest functions of logic, reason and rational thought compound to present me with a constant choice: shuffle you loose the mortal coil or bite my tongue, bide my time and return to my cubicle cave, my mind scathed, bordering on seriously wounded.

I write this not so much to point out to the world your glaring inadequacy, rather, to congratulate you for living so long with this condition. You are an encouragement to optimists everywhere. A beacon, if you will, on the horizon of despair. That you have managed to survive this long with absolutely no demonstrable skill gives hope to them all. I, on the other hand, not being an optimist, have donned my burlap sack, scattered ashes about my head, and contemplate ritual suicide at the troubling thought that not being a moron, I will never advance. There is no serenity prayer, no mantra, no bumper sticker slogan powerful enough to keep me going under current circumstances. That which compels me is simply the dream that one day to will find yourself incorrect in your reading of the pedestrian signaling at a busy intersection, lying under a city bus, with tire-tread imprints lining your body.

With hope...
Moe

Forgot to sign it.

Edited, Tue Feb 17 11:00:27 2004 by MoebiusLord

Damn it, I hope my next boss doesn't suck. What did he/she/it, do, Moe?

By the way, with those letter-writing skillz you should be able to cook up one hell of a resumé

Edited, Tue Feb 17 11:32:44 2004 by Atomicflea

There's your problem...

Barefoot and pregnant, that’s what I say.

Mobius

Be thankful your boss isn't a two faced backstabbing lying racist *****.

Has she told you or the group of people you work with one thing then call you into a one on one meeting into her office when there's documents laying around, in the open right in front of you that say something completely different? My last one did.

Has she "laid off" one third of the people you work with only to replace them with other people that are also from her country of origion? Given those people substatial raises even though they surfed the web far more than any others?

Does she ask questions about somethings in confidence then bring it up and twist what you said in a group meeting? Has she done that with other people and made you look like you don't know what you're doing?

Yea, I could go on and on but why steal your thunder more than I already have.

Good luck.

Don't worry Mad. You're not stealing my thunder. You have actual legal options you can pursue. Mine is a little different. I just work for an organization that is top-heavy with people who get escorted to the grocery store by low paid babysitters and require the occasional straight jacket and thorazine injection because they are having an "episode" (figuratively speaking, of course).

Not really looking at the moment, Flea. The wife and I have decided that stability is king right now, and for all her faults, she know's she can't get rid of me. I need about 6 months, then I am a free man. Free to look wherever the winds take the resumes I drop off the roof of this building to test wind patterns for when I decide to jump. :)

I'm currently "under" three separate managers : The Day Shift, The Night Shift and the "Assistant."

The Day Shift manager's concept of "bonding with the underlings is discussing "boom boom" and how what he has is clearly better than any one else's. If I didn't have another reason to pity him, I'd do it for the sole fact that his sex is so lackluster that he refers to it in the terminology of a twelve year old.
His catch phrase is "I love talking about people."

The Night Shift manager openly states she got her job by means of a ********. She's "The" person that the customers go to when there are customer service issues, displeasure, et cetera, and she has the social skills of a fetus incubated in formaldahyde.
What's more, she can't type, can't send email, can't work our computer systems, but she came "highly recommended." She's also a 51 year old woman in heat over a 23 year old male that actually screwed the last manager to get his raise.

The "Assistant" is the one who was promised the Night job before Hot Lips came through. He's articulate, intelligent, social, and easily the most laid back person I've ever worked with.

I'm going to miss him when I leave.

Oh, and great letter, Moe. Your phraseology reminds me of someone I admire greatly. =)

Dalliance, your Night Shift manager sounds like a chick I worked with. After her training, she said the trainer did such a good job she should reward him with a bj. The then suggested the other girl who was being trained also give him a bj. She was like 45, could pass for 30, and acted like a 13 year old on coke. She was never made supervisor, though oddly enough, I was. For a little bit.

I could give stories about her that would be incredibly funny weren't they so damn sad.

She's 51. She might be able to pass for 50, if you accepted the possibililty that she was homeless for most of her life and was an alcoholic schizophrenic.

Despite her utter incompetence, she's managed to turn a well-oiled machine of a workplace into a back-stabbing, he-said/she-said hellhole in a matter of two months.

It will be funny when she gets hers.

Think I might take violin lessons just to properly enjoy it.