As many of you are aware, I don't flame Katielynn (also known as The Glorious Cherrabwyn). Why?
Because a good joke is ruined with overexposure, and flaming Katie is the board equivalent of asking why the chicken crossed the road. She's become so accustomed to the rhetorical sodomy she is subjected to daily that she doesn't even flinch when the verbal icepick is thrust betwixt her thighs. One might think that such a numbness of the ego is, in itself, worthy of criticism- personally, I'd be embarassed if my icepick was so small it couldn't be felt.
I've spent a fair amount of time attempting to understand her, and I regret to say that as of yet, my attempts to unravel the mystery of Katie's soupy mess of a psyche, have met only with failure. I have, however, discovered that I admire her. She makes no apologies for who and what she is, she's always honest, never self-aggrandizes, and has proven time and time again that although her house amongst the clouds may appear to be made of glass, no stone we throw is capable of even chipping its transparent paint.
I can't help but feel a little disappointed every time I see certain posters attack her without provocation. If you're an idiot, feel free to continue flaming Katie. But if you take yourself seriously, I hope you reconsider before flaming her.
There is more talent on this board now than ever before, despite what the old-timers may tell you. I'm not going to name names, because I don't want anyone to get the impression I'm looking for another circle-jerk, but you know who you are.
If you want to flame someone, pick someone that hasn't been flamed a gazillion times already, or at least someone who has the desire and interest in responding with a volley of their own. By attacking Katie, you're limiting yourselves; both because nothing you have to say about her can possibly be original, and because the battle will end before it's begun- and climaxing 10 seconds into a three hour flick makes for a pretty dull movie-going experience.
If Katie were a moon, and insults were comets, her surface would have long since deteriorated from the crater-covered satellite she was in her board youth, to the dwindling cloud of lingering, infinitesimal, dust particles she is today. And really, if I wanted to watch dust all day long, I'd stick an endoscope into my man-magnet and watch as the dirty little particles collected on the interior walls of my flesh-treasure.
I'm not trying to come off as a hero, God knows I'd have a better chance of being elected the governor of Texas after coming out of the closet than I would of convincing you guys I actually had any dignity or principles. And I'm not doing this because I feel sorry for Katie, who undoubtedly couldn't care less.
Why then did I do this? Well, originally I planned to threaten anybody that flamed Katie with a flame of my own, and then I realized how incredibly tiring it would become flaming 30 people a day. So I opted just to write this fascinating, yet utterly pointless, missive.
Edited, Sun Feb 29 02:15:30 2004 by Thundra