Zen and How
A Zen master visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cashbox and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
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Polish Joke
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. As the bartender pours it, the guy says, “I just heard the funniest Polish joke! You’ve gotta hear it.”
The bartender leans over the bar and growls, “Buddy, I’m Polish. You see the two big bouncers over there? They’re the Kowalski brothers. Do you still want to tell that Polish joke?”
“Nah,” says the guy. “I don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
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A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, “Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?”
“I got it for my wife, eh.” answers Bob.
“Oh!” exclaims Doug, “Good trade.”