Sexist Bastards

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#1 Mar 16 2010 at 4:29 PM Rating: Excellent

Nobby

Ministry of Silly Cnuts

19,524 posts

In a conversation over lunch today, a colleague started to quote from a poem. It was one I happen to like, and (because I'm a dirty show-off), I completed the stanza.

At that point, someone commented, "I didn't think you'd be the sort of bloke who memorises poems", and another said "He must be in touch with his feminine side".

The fUck?? Smiley: mad

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

I want to go on record that if (as I believe) it's inappropriate to generalise about womens' driving skills, ability to read maps or appreciate the rules of sports, it's bloody offensive to assume that by appreciating art & beauty, I must have some non-masculine characteristics. As a man, I'm perfectly capable of enjoying the finer things in life without having a ****** or wanting to put bits of myself into other men.

So next time you think of the expression "In touch with his feminine side", go fUck yourself.

All better now. Nurse!

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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve

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#2 Mar 16 2010 at 4:34 PM Rating: Excellent

Iamadam

@#%^

15,953 posts

You'll feel better in 5 days when the bleeding stops.

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#3 Mar 16 2010 at 4:38 PM Rating: Excellent

lolgaxe

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+1

50,767 posts

That's nice. Now get back to the kitchen.

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#4 Mar 16 2010 at 4:38 PM Rating: Excellent

Jophiel

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Liberal Conspiracy

TILT

Lord Nobby wrote:

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

No, there's also homos.

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Belkira wrote:

Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.

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#5 Mar 16 2010 at 4:43 PM Rating: Good

Nobby

Ministry of Silly Cnuts

19,524 posts

Jophiel wrote:

Lord Nobby wrote:

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

No, there's also homos.

In the words of His Holiness; FUck Off, cUnt.

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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve

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#6 Mar 16 2010 at 4:46 PM Rating: Excellent

Jophiel

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Liberal Conspiracy

TILT

Lord Nobby wrote:

Jophiel wrote:

Lord Nobby wrote:

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

No, there's also homos.

In the words of His Holiness; FUck Off, cUnt.

Did you hear those words as you and His Holiness embraced, surrounded by pleasant smells and murmuring words of poetry into each other's ears?

We already know His Holiness is a snappy dresser, what with the miter and all.

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Belkira wrote:

Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.

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#7 Mar 16 2010 at 4:48 PM Rating: Excellent

Samira

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Will swallow your soul

29,360 posts

Jophiel wrote:

Lord Nobby wrote:

Jophiel wrote:

Lord Nobby wrote:

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

No, there's also homos.

In the words of His Holiness; FUck Off, cUnt.

Did you hear those words as you and His Holiness embraced, surrounded by pleasant smells and murmuring words of poetry into each other's ears?

We already know His Holiness is a snappy dresser, what with the miter and all.

Incense, the litany, and some truly fabulous interior design.

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In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

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#8 Mar 16 2010 at 4:49 PM Rating: Decent

Nobby

Ministry of Silly Cnuts

19,524 posts

Nice avatar though

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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve

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#9 Mar 16 2010 at 6:16 PM Rating: Excellent

__DEL__1651450735431

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Sage

10,246 posts

Lord Nobby wrote:

In a conversation over lunch today, a colleague started to quote from a poem. It was one I happen to like, and (because I'm a dirty show-off), I completed the stanza.

At that point, someone commented, "I didn't think you'd be the sort of bloke who memorises poems", and another said "He must be in touch with his feminine side".

The fUck?? Smiley: mad

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

I want to go on record that if (as I believe) it's inappropriate to generalise about womens' driving skills, ability to read maps or appreciate the rules of sports, it's bloody offensive to assume that by appreciating art & beauty, I must have some non-masculine characteristics. As a man, I'm perfectly capable of enjoying the finer things in life without having a ****** or wanting to put bits of myself into other men.

So next time you think of the expression "In touch with his feminine side", go fUck yourself.

All better now. Nurse!

You great giant poof.

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#10 Mar 16 2010 at 6:17 PM Rating: Decent

Debalic

Prodigal Son

20,643 posts

Lord Nobby wrote:

I want to go on record that if (as I believe) it's inappropriate to generalise about womens' driving skills, ability to read maps or appreciate the rules of sports

That's just politically correct bullshit.

Next thing you'll be telling us we can't make jokes about Brits' teeth, Japan's predilections for tentacle rape, or my hair color.

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we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.

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#11 Mar 16 2010 at 6:25 PM Rating: Good

paulsol

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Sage

4,158 posts

I fully sympathise Nobster.

If i hear one more ~~******~~ midwife say "I knew it was going to be a boy! The difficult ones are always boys....". When we have to do a caesaerian for foetal distress, 'cos the fucking ~~******~~ midwife has sat on the patient for 4 hours so that "the mother can experience natural childbirth (in all its **** and bloodstained glory)without the intervention of the evil medical proffession" as the baby, unnoticed by anyone with more neural connections than a nematode, slowly drowns in its own ****, I'm going to ******* headbutt the fat cow. (Yeah, yeah, I know...But they are almost always fat, or hairy. Or both. Ok?)

About the driving and map reading thing tho.....spatial awareness does seem to work differently with wimminz.

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"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.

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#12 Mar 16 2010 at 6:43 PM Rating: Excellent

__DEL__1649636385462

Sage

15,512 posts

There are people who turn down the free drugs?

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#13 Mar 16 2010 at 7:06 PM Rating: Excellent

__DEL__1695601009560

Guru

18,463 posts

Sweetums wrote:

There are people who turn down the free drugs?

DSD had her last one at home, like a frigging pioneer.

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#14 Mar 16 2010 at 7:24 PM Rating: Good

Debalic

Prodigal Son

20,643 posts

Sweetums wrote:

There are people who turn down the free drugs?

Seriously! I would almost be willing to have a baby myself just to spend a night on morphine.

____________________________

publiusvarus wrote:

we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.

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#15 Mar 16 2010 at 7:29 PM Rating: Excellent

Samira

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Will swallow your soul

29,360 posts

Yeah, they don't give morphine to nursing mothers, so much.

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#16 Mar 16 2010 at 7:30 PM Rating: Good

__DEL__1645402623277

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Sage

9,231 posts

Lord Nobby wrote:

In a conversation over lunch today, a colleague started to quote from a poem. It was one I happen to like, and (because I'm a dirty show-off), I completed the stanza.

At that point, someone commented, "I didn't think you'd be the sort of bloke who memorises poems", and another said "He must be in touch with his feminine side".

The fUck?? Smiley: mad

So do women have a monopoly on appreciating poetry, pleasant smells, a cool-looking outfit? Smiley: glare

I want to go on record that if (as I believe) it's inappropriate to generalise about womens' driving skills, ability to read maps or appreciate the rules of sports, it's bloody offensive to assume that by appreciating art & beauty, I must have some non-masculine characteristics. As a man, I'm perfectly capable of enjoying the finer things in life without having a ****** or wanting to put bits of myself into other men.

So next time you think of the expression "In touch with his feminine side", go fUck yourself.

All better now. Nurse!

And this is why feminism is for everybody!

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#17 Mar 16 2010 at 7:36 PM Rating: Excellent

__DEL__1680481127345

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Sage

21,262 posts

You can enjoy them, you just need to do something like pause and add "in bed" at the end of the poem to fully retain your masculine cred.

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#18 Mar 16 2010 at 8:06 PM Rating: Good

paulsol

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Sage

4,158 posts

Debalic wrote:

I would almost be willing to have a baby myself just to spend a night on morphine.

Morphine is crap tbh.

Raw opium, on the other hand..... Smiley: grin

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"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.

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#19 Mar 16 2010 at 9:15 PM Rating: Good

Nadenu

Gurue

16,299 posts

Samira wrote:

Yeah, they don't give morphine to nursing mothers, so much.

They do when they have to cut you open and pry him from in between your ribs! Smiley: schooled

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#20 Mar 16 2010 at 9:24 PM Rating: Excellent

__DEL__1691972205155

Guru

14,454 posts

The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:

Sweetums wrote:

There are people who turn down the free drugs?

DSD had her last one at home, like a frigging pioneer.

Yeah but that was like, my third spawn, and taking into consideration that my other two came too fast for me to have drugs despite my insistence they hook me up to an IV with meds the moment my foot touched the hospital property. That and Ashe was almost born in the car. Knowing my own body and my previous experiences, I figured it was hella safer to not even bother getting in the car and attempting the drive to the hospital. Good choice. The last spawn was born the fastest of them all.

I went natural all three times. 2 not by choice, the third was just resignation.

Nobby, I meant to ask you earlier, can you send me back the cross stitch patterns I lent you? Pansy

Edited, Mar 16th 2010 11:25pm by DSD

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#21 Mar 16 2010 at 9:52 PM Rating: Good

paulsol

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Sage

4,158 posts

Assassin Nadenu wrote:

Samira wrote:

Yeah, they don't give morphine to nursing mothers, so much.

They do when they have to cut you open and pry him from in between your ribs! Smiley: schooled

Ummm. No. We dont.... Smiley: schooled

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"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.

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#22 Mar 16 2010 at 9:53 PM Rating: Good

paulsol

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Sage

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Lady DSD wrote:

The last spawn was born the fastest of them all.

Probably didn't even touch the sides by the third, eh?

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"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.

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#23 Mar 16 2010 at 10:12 PM Rating: Good

Kakar

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Sage

6,760 posts

Lady DSD wrote:

The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:

Sweetums wrote:

There are people who turn down the free drugs?

DSD had her last one at home, like a frigging pioneer.

Yeah but that was like, my third spawn, and taking into consideration that my other two came too fast for me to have drugs despite my insistence they hook me up to an IV with meds the moment my foot touched the hospital property. That and Ashe was almost born in the car. Knowing my own body and my previous experiences, I figured it was hella safer to not even bother getting in the car and attempting the drive to the hospital. Good choice. The last spawn was born the fastest of them all.

I went natural all three times. 2 not by choice, the third was just resignation.

Nobby, I meant to ask you earlier, can you send me back the cross stitch patterns I lent you? Pansy

Edited, Mar 16th 2010 11:25pm by DSD

[:laughifistillhadpremium:]

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#24 Mar 17 2010 at 12:59 AM Rating: Good

__DEL__1649636385462

Sage

15,512 posts

paulsol wrote:

Assassin Nadenu wrote:

Samira wrote: