I have a paper to write. I need to submit it by Friday.
It has little significance in the affairs of the Western World - if its submission is delayed, the sun will still rise, the tides will continue to ebb and flow, birds will still migrate in Spring, and gbaji will still fail to understand the difference between logical argument and verbose reactionary rhetoric.
I do, however, need to complete the paper if I am to avert the scorn of my employer, continue to command the respect of my lords and masters, and maintain the standards of epicurean bonne-vie to which I have become accustomed. It will be read by a handful of people, although one of them is of significant import, and wields the power to grant or deny a bright and glorious future to minions such as I.
It doesn't need to be a long paper. A few pages that distil the essence of past and present policy, to shed light on what will be propitious in the coming months will suffice. I need no sophisticated formatting. There is no constraining template to confine the bounds of my loquaciousness. The paper needs no illustrations, complex diagrams or multi-dimensional graphics.
Even so, my prevaricative nature turns any activity into a more attractive prospect than doing what I'm supposed to do. Obligatory tasks, no matter how attractive or ugly, rewarding or asinine, will always take second place to a shiny thing. I suppose as my dotage envelopes me, as my hair recedes and turns grey, as my contemporaries become grandparents and die untimely deaths, I am still bound by the shackles of adolescent rebellion.
Now if you don't mind; please leave me alone! I have a paper to write!
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
This is the only way my house gets clean. If I were to quit work, I'd either have to start writing or hire a maid.
Or both, I suppose.
"Okay, ten pages today for sure. As soon as I've... folded the laundry. And cleaned the grout."
Or both, I suppose.
"Okay, ten pages today for sure. As soon as I've... folded the laundry. And cleaned the grout."
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
This is the only way my house gets clean. If I were to quit work, I'd either have to start writing or hire a maid.
Or both, I suppose.
"Okay, ten pages today for sure. As soon as I've... folded the laundry. And cleaned the grout."
Or both, I suppose.
"Okay, ten pages today for sure. As soon as I've... folded the laundry. And cleaned the grout."
Shoot, you know the gutters probably need to be looked at.01001001 00100000 01001100 01001001 01001011 01000101 00100000 01000011 01000001 01001011 01000101
You'll always be stupid, you'll just be stupid with more information in your brain
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You'll always be stupid, you'll just be stupid with more information in your brain
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And if mine don't, then certainly the neighbors' do.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Nobby,
How sad. I'd suggest going into business for yourself where no one has the ability to affect your level of success except yourself; but you're british.
Quote:
It will be read by a handful of people, although one of them is of significant import, and wields the power to grant or deny a bright and glorious future to minions such as I.
How sad. I'd suggest going into business for yourself where no one has the ability to affect your level of success except yourself; but you're british.
knoxxsouthy wrote:
I'd suggest going into business for yourself where no one has the ability to affect your level of success except yourself
You work as an insurance drone and brag about driving a 2005 Altima. But at least you're in business for yourself so I guess we know exactly where the problems with your failures lie.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
knoxxsouthy wrote:
I'd suggest going into business for yourself where no one has the ability to affect your level of success except yourself
You work as an insurance drone and brag about driving a 2005 Altima. But at least you're in business for yourself so I guess we know exactly where the problems with your failures lie.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Jophiel wrote:
knoxxsouthy wrote:
I'd suggest going into business for yourself where no one has the ability to affect your level of success except yourself
You work as an insurance drone and brag about driving a 2005 Altima.
A 2005 Altima with a CD changer you classless dolt.
Nobby,
And yet you remain in the UK. Not to bright are ya?
Quote:
I suspect I enjoy a significantly greater reward for my travails than Varrus ever will.
And yet you remain in the UK. Not to bright are ya?
Bard,
Altima ser thank you very much.
p.s. My car can go faster than yours
Altima ser thank you very much.
p.s. My car can go faster than yours
Jophed,
And what you sit in an office doing what exactly?
Quote:
You work as an insurance drone
And what you sit in an office doing what exactly?
See, I thought my take on this topic had some entertainment potential. But no, it got dragged down the fail trail like every other topic on this board.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
See, I thought my take on this topic had some entertainment potential. But no, it got dragged down the fail trail like every other topic on this board.
I did suggest banning the virus again several days ago for this very reason. Said suggestion was met with much indifference.
Samira wrote:
This is the only way my house gets clean. If I were to quit work, I'd either have to start writing or hire a maid.
Or both, I suppose.
"Okay, ten pages today for sure. As soon as I've... folded the laundry. And cleaned the grout."
Or both, I suppose.
"Okay, ten pages today for sure. As soon as I've... folded the laundry. And cleaned the grout."
I've found it best to try and write two things at once, so that I can write the less daunting one to avoid writing the other.
This also works with any other things you massively want to avoid, so long as you don't conflate them into one herculean task. If that happens you have a chaffinch's chance in hell of seeing any of them through.
Quote:
I did suggest banning the virus again several days ago for this very reason. Said suggestion was met with much indifference.
Humans are banned. Animals are put down.
Edited, May 17th 2010 8:54pm by Kavekk
Duck,
and they laughed and laughed at you.
Quote:
I did suggest banning the virus again several days ago for this very reason
and they laughed and laughed at you.
knoxxsouthy wrote:
Duck,
and they laughed and laughed at you.
Quote:
I did suggest banning the virus again several days ago for this very reason
and they laughed and laughed at you.
You don't understand words, do you?
Did you just call Senator Palin a pig?!
knoxxsouthy wrote:
Nobby,
And yet you remain in the UK.
Quote:
I suspect I enjoy a significantly greater reward for my travails than Varrus ever will.
And yet you remain in the UK.
No. I live here, and spend time working and relaxing in a host of places you'll never see.
knoxxsouthy wrote:
Not to bright are ya?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Quote:
No. I live here, and spend time working and relaxing in a host of places you'll never see.
I like the innuendo in this sentence.
Nobby,
But you still live in the UK, that must really suck.
Or would want to. Unless of course you're including the caribean and hawaii, both of which i've frequented.
But you still live in the UK, that must really suck.
Quote:
No. I live here, and spend time working and relaxing in a host of places you'll never see.
Or would want to. Unless of course you're including the caribean and hawaii, both of which i've frequented.
Kavek,
He knows the UK s*cks.
Quote:
I like the innuendo in this sentence.
He knows the UK s*cks.
knoxxsouthy wrote:
Unless of course you're including the caribean and hawaii, both of which i've frequented.
See! If we banned this dolt, we wouldn't get to snigger into our morning brew at his sad perception of what it means to be 'worldly'.
Snigger is on filter! Whodathunkit?
Edited, May 17th 2010 10:09pm by paulsol
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
Samira wrote:
See, I thought my take on this topic had some entertainment potential. But no, it got dragged down the fail trail like every other topic on this board.
If it makes you feel better, the only time my ex would clean is if she was mad at me. She'd stomp around the apartment, doing the dishes or putting things away because I guess she couldn't properly express her rage by sitting and watching TV.
I used to joke (privately) that she was "cleaning at me" and figured I should anger her more often.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Gotta love that vacuum-aggressive behavior.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
knoxxsouthy wrote:
p.s. My car can go faster than yours
p.s.s. my **** can get bigger than yours.
Quote:
If it makes you feel better, the only time my ex would clean is if she was mad at me. She'd stomp around the apartment, doing the dishes or putting things away because I guess she couldn't properly express her rage by sitting and watching TV.
I used to joke (privately) that she was "cleaning at me" and figured I should anger her more often.
I used to joke (privately) that she was "cleaning at me" and figured I should anger her more often.
So, did you annoy her a lot or did you just do most of the cleaning?
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