If any of you guys liked the South Park episode on Mormonism, I highly recommend listening to the soundtrack to The Book of Mormon Broadway musical (or seeing the show if you're in NYC and can get tickets). Funniest (and most profane) soundtrack to a musical I've ever heard, hands down.
Hello! Two by Two You and Me (but mostly me) Hasa Diga Eebowai Turn if Off (my personal favorite)
All-American Prophet Making Things Up Again Baptize Me I Believe Joseph Smith American Moses ELDER PRICE
You all know the Bible is made of testaments old and new.
You've been told it's just those two parts, or only one if you're a Jew.
But what if I were to tell you -- there's a fresh third part out there
Which was found by a hip new prophet who had a little...Donny Osmond flair?
Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
The blond haired blue-eyed voice of God!
He didn't come from the Middle East like those other holy men.
No, God's favorite prophet was All-American!
I'm gonna take you back to biblical times, 1823. An American man named Joe livin' on a farm in the holy land of Rochester, New York!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
You mean the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith?
ELDER PRICE
That's right! That young man spoke to God!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
He spoke to God?
ELDER PRICE
And God said "Joe, people really need to know
That the Bible isn't two parts, there's a part three to The Bible, Joe!
And I, God, have anointed you to dig up this part three
That's buried by a tree on a hill in your backyard!"
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
Wow! God says go to your backyard and start digging, that makes perfect sense!
ELDER PRICE
Joseph Smith went up on that hill and dug where he was told!
And deep in the ground Joseph found shining plates of gold!
JOESPH SMITH
What are these golden plates?
Who buried them here and why?
ELDER PRICE
Then appeared an angel: his name was Moroni!
(Ahhhhh...)
MORONI
I am Moroni...
The All-American angel! (All-American!)
My people lived here long, long ago! (So long ago!)
This is a history of my race, please read the words within.
We were Jews who met with Christ, but we were All-American!
But don't let anybody see these plates except for you...
They are only for you to see...
Even if people ask you to show the plates to them, don't.
Just copy them onto normal paper.
Even though this might make them question if the plates are real or not...
This is sort of what God is going for...
ELDER PRICE
Joseph took the plates home and wrote down what he found inside.
He turned those plates into book then he rushed into town and cried:
JOSEPH SMITH
Hey! God spoke to me and gave me this blessed ancient tome.
He commanded me to publish it and stick it in ev'ry home.
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
Wow! So the Bible is actually a trilogy and the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi?! I'M interested!
ELDER PRICE
Now many people didn't BELIEVE the prophet Joseph Smith. They thought he made up this part three that was buried by a tree on the hill in his backyard.
(Liar!)
But Joe said --
JOESPH SMITH
This is no lie, I speak to God all the time
And he told me to head west!
So I'll take my part three from the hill with the tree
Feel free if you'd like to come along with me
To the promised land! (The promised land?)
Paradise, on the west coast!
Nothing but fruit and fields as far as the eye can see!
ALL
Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
He found a brand-new book about Jesus Christ!
We're following him to paradise, we call ourselves Mormon,
And our new religion is All-American!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
Wow, how much does it cost?
ELDER PRICE
The Mormons kept on searching for that place to settle down,
But every time they thought they found it they got kicked out of town,
And even though people wanted to see the golden plates,
Joseph never showed 'em!
GOTSWANA
I have maggots in my *******.
ELDER PRICE
Um, okay. Well, anyway...
Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad.
On the way to the promise land, Mormons made people mad.
Joseph was shot by an angry mob and knew he'd soon be done:
JOESPH SMITH
You must lead the people now, my good friend Brigham Young.
Oh God, why are you letting me die without having me show people the plates?
They'll have no proof I was telling the truth or not.
They'll have to believe it just...'cause.
Oh...I guess that's kinda what you were going for.
Blargggh...
ELDER PRICE
The prophet Joseph Smith died for what he believed in. But his followers, they kept heading west. And Brigham Young led them to paradise. A sparkling land in Utah they called Salt Lake City. And there the Mormons multiplied! And made big Mormon families!! Generation to generation until finally...they made ME!!! And now it's my job to lead you where those early settlers were led long ago!!!
ALL
Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
Kevin Price!
ALL
The next in line to be the voice of God?!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
My best friend!
ALL
He's gonna do something incredible and be Joseph Smith again!
'Cause Kevin Price the prophet is all, all, all...
All-American!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM
If you order now, we'll also throw in a set of steak knives!
ALL
All-American!