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Like Bijou mentioned, the feminist loonies are the most visible and vocal minority. You don't hear about any gains because they did it to get it done. They weren't in it to be famous and write tons of books and make the talk show circuits spewing vitriol. I don't have a problem with the feminist movement. I do have a problem with individual "feminists" who say that because I'm male I'm a rapist and spend all my time and energy trying to make thier lives miserable.
There's tons of feminist literature out there that doesn't come close to the things you complain about. These are fringe positions. Most feminists are neither vitriolic man-haters nor, ahem, 'men of action ' that get things done without saying a word. Saying words is central to getting things done.
This is the power of language.
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And I'm sure its not all women, but when they say they want equality, they don't want to be treated like men in all circumstances. Same job and wages, sure sounds good. But if you don't treat them like women in the dating/romance department, they'll rage. I'll stop paying for dinner, I won't hold a door open for you, I will be loud and proud with bodily noises, just like when I'm with a group of guys. You don't want to be treated any different because of your gender? You got it.
Equality implies a comparator, which is problematic even for arch-liberals in certain areas - e.g. pregnancy, where a comparison is difficult. For many, it is problematic in and of itself. This is one of many debates in feminism you'd be aware of if you'd ever read anything about it; I guarantee more has been written about this than whether all men are rapists or whatever it is, probably by a factor of thousands.
I have to say that personally, as a man, I'd prefer you not be 'loud and proud'; farting isn't funny, and being around people that think it is is a kind of purgatory. I hold doors for anyone immediately behind me, rather than slam them in their face. This is the power of courtesy.
You seem kind of angry, though, in the way you express yourself. What you see as equality in dating you set up as your kind of vengeance at women asking for equal pay. You construct 'not all women' (the majority, then) as not wanting real equality, because they haven't thought it through like you have. People might not pay for their dinner! They're going to get what they want, though.
And then they'll be sorry.