The irony is that those who yell loudest about this subject seem to have a view of female power that makes the females appear to be as much like males as possible,
No. The irony is that people who assume that seem to have this view that characteristics like "strong, successful, competent, powerful", etc are somehow tied to gender. Wanting power equity doesn't make women appear to be "as much like males" as possible, assuming it does sort of makes the point about what the problem is. That said, video games aren't really the most fertile ground to pursue the cause in, being targeted at a demographic that's overwhelmingly 15-40 year old men. Escapist fantasy isn't going for realism. It would be like complaining about how unrealistic it is for AverageGirl1234 (Bella Swan, Katnis Everdeen, Elizabeth Bennet, etc) to suddenly be an all consuming object of love, lust, and adoration for every man that meets her. We all know Darcy would have hit that once and rolled back to Pemberly without waking her up the next day.