Samira wrote:
I won't work in a toxic environment, ever again. I'm talking about, for example, an office where there are cliques and backstabbing and jockeying for management approval and attention - what we think of as corporate America. Been there, done that, would strike out on my own before tolerating that mess again.
I've found that the work environment can turn toxic pretty suddenly and without much warning. In my work-world the most recent admin change has really sickened the interpersonal environment at my workplace. But it's tolerable - for now.
The type of job I could never do again is one where everyone starts with the bell at 8am. Everyone breaks with the bell at 10am. Everyone goes to lunch with the bell, at the plant cafeteria at noon, etc. I was introduced to this type of place when I did temp chemistry job for Land-o-lakes food. I was offered a permanent position in the analytics lab at the end of my three month stint, but I had to turn it down. Though that's not to say LoL was a bad employer - just very regimented.
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In a relationship, my deal breaker is lying. I'm not talking about face-saving white lies, but really hiding something. That, to me, is a dire symptom of mistrust.
This is really not applicable to me as I've had the same partner for 30 years now and I don't see that changing..and honestly (honest) I don't recall considering personal characteristics when I married. I'm big on honesty in general but over the years I've decided everyone is big on honesty. And everyone claims they're honest - only others are dishonest and if I'm dishonest it's justified and not really who I am ...at all.
Still it's an important characteristic for to continue to try and improve on. If I were to make a statement about regional honesty, I'd say Mainers are much more honest and forthcoming in their opinions about most everything as compared to Minnesotan's who tend to not want to offend anyone and so just 'smile' and nod.
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In a friendship, I don't want to spend time around people who gossip maliciously or regard others as less than themselves. I don't much care about status or personal habits like drug use or political or religious beliefs as such. I don't mind if you believe in God or fairies or New Age crystals. Just don't be a **** about it; that's my rule.
Gossip is typically very judgmental. It's hard to not get caught up in it as it gives the feeling of inclusion. I keep the E. Roosevelt quote stuck on my office wall - to help remind me not to gossip.
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Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
But still, I get caught sometimes.