Spring is a special time for me. It reminds me of my springs breaks once upon a time when I was just a wee lolhatchet. I had a friend, let's call him lolknife. lolknife and I spent a lot of time together running around Queens. A lot of alleys and dark corners two ten year olds could find adventure in and such. Anyway, one Spring Break we were busy doing our thing, hitting things with sticks and throwing things at walls, when this tiny little ugly kitten snuck out of an overturned box. Dirty, but playful, so we started playing with it. Making it chase string and such. Around the cat's neck was some wire and a little medal that said "Love" on it. lolknife and I thought it was a pretty dumb name, so he named the cat "Fag." Which, at the time was a laugh riot.
So lolhatchet, lolknife, and Fag spent the week off from school playing and having a jolly ol' time. The cat would be waiting for us in the mornings. We cleaned him off, fed him, all the stuff responsible kids did short of taking any responsibility for it.
That Sunday morning, we were playing with the cat when this huge guy came stumbling into our domain. I'm not going to say this guy was fat, but you know how people say they have a skinny person inside them? This guy had all the New York Jets' linebackers in him. Even to a couple of kids, we could tell the guy was hopped up on something. So, we were right fucked as it were.
Now, the thing about lolknife is that he doesn't really have what we'd call common sense. He alwas thought he was bigger than he really was.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' WITH MY CAT?!"
Oh shit, right? Big dude hopped up on who knows what versus two ten year olds and a kitten.
"FAG IS OUR CAT!"
At this point, I should have probably distanced myself. I really really should have.
"WHA'CHU CALL MY CAT?!"
"FAG! HE'S OURS!"
"HIS NAME IS LOVE!"
"NO IT ISN'T!"
This went on for a few minutes. Me, I was kind of pissing myself in fear. Druggy McManmountain was outraged. Outraged enough to pull a pistol out from behind him and fire at us.
And wouldn't you know it, I took it in the shoulder. The guy freaks out and runs as fast as a glacier can, the cat is quickly forgotten and lolknife is crying and at my side.
"Oh my god! Are you okay?!
"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! YOU GAVE LOVE A BAD NAME!"
So after all that bull, Spring starts tomorrow. Any plans? If the weather is nice I'm planning a picnic for the small clan.
Edited, Mar 20th 2015 2:32pm by lolgaxe