Top 5 Most Embarrassing Deaths?Follow

Salutations Again all ^^:

If you're like me, when you first started this game, you were reeeeeally **** about NOT dying at all, or as little as possible. Heck, I'm still that way with my DRK (I'm "Mr Insta Warp"), but for the most part, later on in the game, deaths are a dime a dozen.

Point is-- death in this game reeeeally ends up breeding humility from my view point, especially compared to the Save Game/Instant Revive factor of most other games out there. And as such, the truuuuly humiliating deaths out there have to be pretty note-worthy/neat stories, and I'd like to tell some of my own, as well as hear some cool tales from those that wish to tell them.

For my record:

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Number 5: Catrot Rapido- Round 1:
or "Hmmmm, I wonder if it really does 10k Needles?"
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It's around mid-May/June, 2004, and the Monkeys decide, particularly Hyp and I, that we want to take our hand at fighting that arrogant Speedy-Gonzalez/Road Runner wannabe, Cactrot Rapido.

"I don't think he reeeeeeally has 10,000 needles-- that's probably just a line-- people don't fight him on average since he's like WarAxe Beak-- not worth the lame *** item he drops." etc etc

So Illidon, Hypnotik, Eledhwyn, Hellbrin, Djbiglar, and I go out, get in a great spot with a sabotender in tow, and wait for the ******* to show up. We do a hefty amount of damage, get a Photosynthesis and Needleshot on us, nothing special (Hyp and I are reaaaally whaling on him, down to 50% hp), then.... SPLAT!

6 dead corpses, 1666 damage given to each, all laughing our asses off. It was embarrassing, but fun and funny, and hey, we gave that cactus what for in the end anyway, ne?

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Number 4: The SAVAGE BCNM 60 with Carz and Gang:
or "The Paladin and his Fists of SAVAGE Steel!"
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It's around late March/Early April 2004-- Carz and the gang (Me, Akele, Lamalas, Eledhwyn, etc), decide to get some potentially outstanding amounts of gil getting spectacles from the Orc BCNM 60. We're not all at the BCNM in time, so Carz and Lamalas exit the entrance zone and have fun bullying around the lower lvl orcs.


Once we're all finally there, we enter, and get ready to unload. Akele does a great job as always of sleeping the mobs, we waste the BLM, but didn't anticipate such a great amount of Ga damage at the time, so we're hurting a bit. Eventually we get to the RNG Orc, and Carz can't seem to hold hate on him at all, and I eat a 2hr, Carz gets wasted by 100 fists after his invincible ends, and Akele's sleep goes, and splat splat splat, we're in the "Corpse Waiting Room Syndrome."


Not so funny, right? Well, as it turns out-- we discuss our strategy/tactics, and Carz admits too, he has no idea why he didn't do better damage in there-- turns out he had switched from his main weapon to bare fists outside fighting lower lvl orcs, and forgot to switch back, hahahahaha ^^. Gotta love that Carz. It was the best time I ever had taking Eagle Eye Shot.

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Number 3: The Ark Angel Mithra BST/THF vs. The Monkeys
or "That Turncoat Hellbrin, Always Tryin' to get Some Tail :P ."

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Late June 2004, the Monkeys decide it's time to get those AAs wasted a little, and have some mission fun. Hellbrin, Mahoro, Hypnotik, Djbiglar, Illidon, and I, embark on an epic trek through the Halls of Gods, past the Ru'Aun Gardens, and into the first AA BCNM, that of the Easy Taru Roadkill... errr I mean the Taru DRK/BLM. No problems, easily wasted.


Next Up-- Mithra BST/THF. Now, as always with these Tales of Embarrassment©, not a whole lot of info on these AAs at the time NA side, but we know she's got to have BST and THF 2hr, so that means has a pet, and has perfect dodge. We know about the sleep AoE and the WS to watch for, so we get lucky on her pet choice, sleep the *******, and get ready to unload.


Midway through the fight, the sleep AoE gets a tad out of hand, and our hate situation becomes a "Mithra in the Middle Situation," when... errr.. our PLD gets charmed by the guiles and wiles of the AA. We were prepared for a few Sleep AoEs, but not a Joyeuse wielding madman in Barney Gear and a Mithra with a now unslept pet taking us out one by one.


We're standing stiff, like Tinman going "Oil....Can!!," pleading Hellbrin not to kill us, and he's all "I Can't Stop! I don't know how it works!?!?!!" Total massacre-- sure, we went back in and owned it thanks to some carefully laid strategies and pre-knowledge now of the Charm ability, but it was still hilarious getting creamed by such an awesome and friendly PLD like Hellbrin, heh heh ^^.

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Number 2: Mort. Vs. Bloodtear Baldurf
or "A low lvl's plead for mercy goes unheeded ; ;."
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Early February, 2004- I'm a lvl 40 DRK, riding through La Theine Plateau, when I gaze upon Bloodtear for the first time ever.


"Wow!!! A Huge NM! In a low lvl zone too! Hey, guys on the LS-- anyone know this thing's lvl? No? Oh well, can't be too hard-- I'm gonna fight him, see what he does! Wait, what's that? You say you want me to stop this Bob Newhart Phone Conversation Parody? Ok ^^. On with the story!"


I dismount right near it, get ready to cast poison around a whole bunch of really low lvl onlookers, when one guy goes, "Wait! I've waited all day to fight him!!! Please don't take him!!! Please!!!!" I think to myself, "No worries man, you'll get your turn sometime-- it's my time to shine, and try this guy out ^^!"


So I last about 2-3 hits, he does the stomp move, and SPLAT!, he basically squashes me (Mort goes to notepad on desk, writes down under "Mort's List of Payback/Mobs Not to Fight Again For Purposes of Vengeance Until MUUUCH Later, 'Bloodtear Baldurf'").


Oh well, at least I got my just deserves, and hopefully that low lvl guy got Baldurf for himself too ^^.

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And Now--

NUMBER ONE MOST EMBARRASSING DEMISE FOR MORTETIS IN FFXI!--

Mort Learns a Valuable Lesson About Caring and Sharing at the BLM AF3
or "Plzzz move I'm dieing!!"
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Late March, 2004- Our mighty pack of BLMs (Mellante, Magusray, Chronos, etc) and then-some need BLM AF3 done. We decide to waltz down to Toraimarai Canal with 18 people, 6+ of which are BLMs.


We take forever doing each and every single one, with the usual hangups, and on the last set, we get the aggro problem with the skeletons/scorpions whilst previously engaged to the fight with Magic Sludge. Most of the BLMs go from spamming attack spells to spamming escape spells, but the BLM in my pt that's still alive is having trouble with hate issues and keeps getting interrupted.


So instead of using insta warp, I take aggro off him, but to no avail, as he dies anyhow, before the spell can go off. I run into a corner and use Instant Warp, buuuuuuuuuuut NOT before the Magic Sludge gives me an unhealthy dose of Bio III.


I make it back to Lower Jeuno HP Crystal, and immediately use Flee (I has less than 80 HP left, and it's draining fast). I zig, I zag, and I finally get to the mog house entrance when Flee runs down... but there's of course 20 million + people outside Mog House in Lagger...errr Lower Jeuno, not moving, not doing anything... just standing there. No matter how hard I try, I can't get through them fast enough, and whenever I try to move my guy around them, turns out more appear in front of me, lol. I even have time to type quickly, in say mode:


"Plleees move I'm dieing!!!"


But no dice, I die RIGHT outside the moghouse. But hey, everyone was afk there, right? Well, nope. Turns out they all decide to go "What the?", send me tells of "what happened!?! Are you ok!?!?!," which is nice, but the worst of it was the pokes..... the horror of all those POKES!!!!!!

A passerby WHM was kind enough to revive me, but to this day, I never set HP by the crystal over just outside the moghouse, and never in Lower Jeuno, and I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Poke emotes (So yes, if you see me in-game, I'm sure I'll get tons more Poke emotes now, and you'll laugh a little with a "hahaha it's funny since you don't like pokes, right?", and I'll laugh a little, and we all die a little more inside :P).
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Honorable Mention:

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The Funniest Massacre where I didn't die--

Late April 2004---

#1 of 2-- Curious Carz goes to the Fenrir Circus... of DEATH!!!


Carz and the gang go to a place too early, Carz and the gang want to have mad cap fun against impossible odds, wackiness ensuses, etc etc ^^. This time, the obstacle is Fenrir at lvl 70-- the hijinks include:


Fighting Fenrir at 90% Full Moon-ish
Carz forgeting to put on buffs/eat food/waiting for us before taking Lamalas and starting the attack.
But ohhhh there's sooo much more heh heh ^^


Anyway, fight lasted 3 seconds before Fenrir opened Carz like he was a 1000 year old Budweiser container and it was Superbowl Sunday... and if mystical beasts of lore drank loads of beer. I barely got out in time, didn't even get to hit Fenrir in the first place, but man was it funny.

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#2 out of 2-- Mort. Vs Miser Murphy
or "The Ghost NM that should be renamed %&&%&*$jeez the Guy that does 300+ Drain Effect!!!!"


Just Today-- Went with Marinedeath and Embur to tryout that RDM AF mob for the first time (I've always done the latter part of the quest), checked the websites, didn't say anything special about the mob other than how "it was waaaaay easier than the doll NM, lvl 75 can solo no prob."


We show up at Fei'yin, Embur's having fun eating Burritos, I casually pull Miser with Stoneskin/Blink up, no sweat, then Suuuuuucckkk, I lose 382 or so damage, again and again. I spam "run run," use my Instant Warp scroll, and die outside Moghouse, but everyone else made it out ok, so no worries. Type in Drain and Miser Murphy on Google-- couple matches pop up: "Oh yeah, BTW, not THAT easy, since he does this mean 500 drain effect to you." Oops.

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Anyway, as you can see-- some funny yet humiliating Tales of Embarrassing Demises ©. Just goes to show you can always have fun/enjoyment in this game if you just know where/how to look at things. So any funny death tales you guys have? Feel free to send 'em here ^^. Take care all, and thank you as always for your time in reading this.

Mortetis



(Seriously though, please don't poke me, I hate that ; ; ).

I'm not sure if I can think of specifically what the top 5 are... I die so much, you know...

Most of them are heroic deaths (or so I would call them, but if you asked my wife, she'd say they were unnecessary and stupid, slap me, and tease me for falling behind again in our static party), so I wouldn't call many of them truly embarrassing, but a few noteworthy ones come to mind.





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My Fist Notorious Monster, or,
My goodness... He's taller than I thought.
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Around level 30-31, I was starting to feel pretty confident in myself.
I'd reached the level where people start getting those so-called "advanced" jobs; I had leveled a subjob up to 20, I had saved up for pretty much the best gear I could get for my level.

I'd even escorted a couple groups of level 10-ish people from Windurst to Bastok, and fought off aggressors along the way, my ego boosted by their admiration of my strength and my knowledge of the land.

I was also able to hang around zones like Meriphitaud Mountains and hold my own. I was definitely becoming a real tough-guy.

Heck, I figured I could even start farming in Meriphitaud. I heard that Raptor Skins sold for something like 20k per stack.

Well, I didn't do so bad. Sure, I had some downtime, but I eventually got that stack of raptor skins (took an all-nighter, about 6 straight hours, to get).

I'd even killed some of those Axebeaks.
Yes.
MNK vs. Dinosaur.
I was starting to get pretty cocky.


I head that there was a NM raptor that spawned around the place where I hunted. I even got confiermation from my friends that I could probabbly beat Daggerclaw Draco if I found him. (Hey, I'd use my 2hr, I love my 2hr!)

One day, I actually saw him, Daggerclaw, right there! Sadly, some mage was a little closer to him than I was, and claimed him with a spell before I could.

I've never seen Daggerclaw again.


However, it wasn't more than a couple of days later that I was in that same area, checking to see if Daggerclaw maybe came back;
and there, in the distance through the heat-haze, I saw an Axe beak.
I blinked a few times, wiped the sweat off my face, and squinted at it.
Huh. It's name was WarAxe Beak. Wait a second... I think I've heard of this guy. He must be a Notorious Monster axebeak, like Daggerclaw is for the Raptors.

Well, if they say I can beat Daggerclaw, I bet I can beat this guy too!

So, I start running in his direction, and go into attack mode.
As I get closer and closer, the first thought that begins to take shape in my mind is:
"Gosh.... he's actually a lot .... taller... than he looked from way back there."

That's when I had my first suspicion that things might not go exactly as I'd planned.

Where I had my second suspicion that things might not go as I'd planned was when I got within arm's reach of him, took two swings at him, and both of them missed completely.

Nevertheless, that seemed to get his attention.
He turned around to face me, and let out some weird kind of squawk.
The next thing I saw was this line in the chat log:
Waraxe Beak casts Stonega IV.
"Hmmm," I thought, "I didn't know there was such a thing as Stonega IV... wow, I bet this is going to hurt."

Well, my death was actually incredibly quick and painless.
I took about 500,000 damage from that Stonega IV, and as I lay there, contemplating the event with a pleasant view of the cloudless sky, obscured momentarily as the great Waraxe Beak lumbered over my corpse on his way to find another scrub-bush to chew on, I thought to myself what a marvelous story I had now, about my first one-on-one encounter with a NM.






Gosh, that was a much longer story than I intended.


Well, here's a quick little one, which just goes to prove that even experienced players can be total noobs sometimes.


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"Ninja 2-hour is great to warp yourself to your homepoint instantly", or
"...Suprisingly, it's also good for getting the rest of your party back there too!"
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I was leveling Ninja (it was around level 11 I think) with a couple of linkshell friends in the caves underneath the Horutoto Ruins. Mortetis himself was there, as well as Ridri and Kysha.

Eventually, I had to leave for some reason, so I figured I'd do that neat trick that my wife (a professional Ninja) always does:
run up to a monster and use Mijin Gakure.

Unfortunately, I didnt run very far away from my party, and I didn't think to disband myself from the party before exploding,
which ment, of course, that the bat I had exploded at went straight for the rest of the party.

Mort, ever on his toes, used Invincible + Instant Warp Scroll, while Ridri (a BLM at the time) tried to run for it. He sprinted as well as he could, but the train overtook him.

Just remember, kiddies: Mijin Gakure is a great way to get yourself back to your homepoint instantly, but if you don't use it right, your whole party gets a ride back there as well.




AHA! my wife and kind linshell friends refreshed my memory tonight, and i recall now two more embarrasing deaths.

Once, I went AFK somewhere in Rolanberry Fields to go pick up my kids from school.

I normally wouldnt get aggro from anything there, but when I left, I was in the healing position.

As you know, even too-weak aggro mobs will go after you in that position.

When I came back, I was dead.
I scrolled through the log and realized that two goblins came up and must have been whacking at me for a good 15-20 minutes before I died. ^^



Another one was when I was farming Carwlers in Buburimu.
I usually just kill one at a time, but once or twice I made a big train, hit Counterstance, and took on a huge group at once.

One time, I did this, but was in the middle of cooking dinner.
Well, when I'd pulled them all over into a corner, I turned around to face and fight them.

Turning on auto-attack, I got up and went to the kitchen to check on the food and do some stuff.

I came back to see that I was nearly dead, because, while I was in auto-attack mode, it turns out that the specific crawler I'd had targetted was behind me (they all had sort of circled around me), so I was getting the mesage "Cannot See Target".

This meant that all 10 or so crawlers were beating on me while I was away, and even though they were all Too Weak, I died because I hadn't been fighting back.

Well, I took care of the situation quickly, putting on counterstance and facing the monstyers correctly, and i was down the the very last crawler, when I died ^^.


Edited, Mon Jan 17 04:02:50 2005 by Tenmiles

I can't think of 5 now, but:

2. Going to help a friend with getting Carby Mitts in Temple of Uggalepih (if I spelled that right, I play FFXI way too much). Inside the temple, we get to the room with doors at the top of the curving stairways. NM doll Manipulator is walking in circles up and down the stairs just outside the door we need to go through. I'm there with a 74 THF/NIN and a 69ish SMN/WHM. We didnt have a key for the door, so we decide to aggro a doll inside. Ok, no problem, wait for the Manipulator to go to the other side of the room, cast Phalanx, get aggrod by a magic pot inside, who kindly opens the door and we waltz inside. Problem is, there are also EP tonberries and more pots not far away, so I can't run anywhere, and I can't invis myself.

Fight's going fine, the THF and SMN are whittling down the pot's HP. Then a tonberry walks by and aggros me, I sleep him. Unfortunately, another pot notices me casting. Ok, I can probably handle that guy, too. However, the Manipulator also happened to be just outside the door. He doesn't even bother to open the door; he just hits me once. I've been Manipulated.

The stuff that aggrod me now has no target and wanders back, but in the meantime, the THF has gotten low on HP, and the SMN warped out when I died. No biggie, THF uses Perfect Dodge and flees out, uses Hide to rid himself of the mob. Unfortunately, he was bio'd earlier in the fight, so his 200HP rapidly dwindles. He starts fighting a too weak tonberry to get HP back with bloody bolts. Works for about a minute, then he's face down as well.

They recruit a little help from their linkshell, get him a raise 3. WHM is on his way to me and I DC. I log back in, they're standing over me fighting another pot. The good news is, they already killed one pot, and it dropped a Red Mage Testimony. I get a raise 3, an invite, lot, and receive my testimony. So all in all, I'm happy I died^^

1. PLing a friend in the dunes. Get low on MP, puller pulls a gob. I think, ok, I'll convert and cure the puller to get on the mob's hate list, then cure IV myself and the mob will be on me like glue. I convert, cure the guy, get hate, get hit(down to 8 HP now, not good), start casting cure IV on myself, get interrupted, get hit again and go down. >.< So there I am, lvl 60 RDM killed by a lvl 20 gob. The shame of dying that easily is worse than the lost xp.

Honorable Mention (I did not die due to a fortunate DC): get an alliance of 18 people, including a 75 Galkan PLD and other 65+ people, to go kill the doll NM for my pimp hat. We had 6 RDMs, so we'd need to kill the doll 6 times. No problem, we'd already wasted Miser Murphy 6 times, this shouldn't be too hard. So we get about 15 people through the first banishing gate (3 were afk and thus missed getting through). So we're not ready to fight yet, 3 people aren't even inside the gate (the NM is spawned in a room just inside the gate).

One of the other RDMs goes and pops the NM before we're ready. Total chaos ensues. 75 PLD vokes, doll starts hitting him. I start enfeebling/refreshing. Then I DC. I hurriedly get back on, 9 people are dead (including the two friends I had recruited to help out), mob is still fighting. I get reinvited, mob dies shortly afterward. The doll has a rather stong AoE, and apparently it spammed it while I was DCed.

So we raise everyone, fight him 5 more times, still get a 2-3 deaths on most of them (including each of my friends once more). But in the end, all the RDMs got their hats, and I owe my two friends big time for helping out and dying.^^

sad i dont even get my name mentioned..... it was BASTILA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I just have one to mention and it wasnt my death...

Was doing the Crawler quest in CN and so was another pt, and there was some heated words so most of them left but a blm thought it would be fun to train some lizzys onto us so I saw him comming and had plenty of time to sneak up and the blm trys to warp out and ends up getting stopped 3 times and finally dies from the hits. We laughed for a while and I send him a /tell asking if he would like a Raise II and if he was gonna try that again, his response was Yes, Please on Raise II and No Thanks on Training anymore. So I raised him and he /say saying well guess that didnt work and warped out.

Was very funny :)

Coujoe, bloodtear is mean XD. Sorscha was the whm who raised you^^.

My 1st most Embarrassing death would have to be when leaping lizzy killed me :x. I was killing stuff in S. Gustaberg for the Dark Knight quest. I was a level 11 war with only the Great sword you get for drk quest. I'm running to beaudux(sp) to finish the quest, when i see Leaping Lizzy unclaimed. i notice no one is there camping her, so i take it on figuring i may get lucky and get the boots to drop from her again. I engage her and use my 2hour. With the long delay on my GS i ended up dying. A rdm passed by and killed her and moved on, he didn't get drop i think, and i didn't get a raise -_-.


My 2nd would have to be when i ran into the HMN ram in Konschtat Highlands. It was me, xoblivion, asrial, and deavil. We were getting ready to do sam quest, when deavil spotted this guy. He got a little to close and got aggro'd and died. Me and X go to find it and think its the level 30 NM ram so we engage it. I see my nukes(blm at the time) doing like 30 damage and not even putting a dent in its hp. X is taking a lot of damage and we both end up dying. We get raises and got to watch Landy and a few of his/her Ls members take this guy on^^.

My 3rd is, Me, X, rebian, asrial, rylis, and i think necros were riding the boat to Mhaura to get to windy to do some quest. Sea Horrror pops. They start to fight it and they didn't know it was a level 60 NM =/. I being a level 19 nin, run up to where the captain is thinking i would be safe incase they died. Rylis ran and casted sneak and deo, and then sea horror comes up and kills me. Rylis ended up living.

Thats all i can think of for right now. I do notice i seem to run into a ;pt pf NM and HNM as a low level job -.-.

Edited, Fri Jan 21 22:13:49 2005 by Lanco