I can't go any further in this game, really. I know 50-60 is supposed to be slow, because everyone is doing AF quests and LB quests, farming for expensive equipment, etc. Everyone has to do all those things, and they all just cannot be soloed.
Most people seem to have quite a lot of friends by the time they reach these levels, or have long been part of a very good linkshell. They can get help.
Others are good at getting help, in knowing who and how to ask. They may not have a lot of friends but that doesn't stop them from spending only a little time pulling groups together for almost any quest or mission.
Either way, those are the type of people that make it in this game, the friendly types owed a lot of favors, the diplomatic types that can make things work.
I'm neither. I've played a quite a while, 30-40 RL days total in-game. But I don't know who my friends are, I'm inept spotting those who consider me one. Even when I finally do recognize one, I've a deep-set phobia about friends, can't shake off the feeling that the only reason anyone would claim to be my friend is to get favors from me. I'm terrified of losing a friend because I myself ask too may favors. The seems to always create an ackward buffer around me and society.
I'm not good at asking for help. I'm afraid of it, every time I think of asking I look at what I'm about to do and think "Oh, god...I sound like some kind of weakling leach" and either keep my mouth completely shut, or 'hint' to people that I need help...another thing I'm not good at.
I love this game, and a lot of the people in it. I'm good at playing my chosen job, and enjoy it.
But do I really have a future here? A loner doesn't get very far here, except by luck, and I do not count luck as one of my strong points either.
- Forums
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- Thinking of quitting.
Thinking of quitting.Follow
This is the perfect scenario to get over a fear of rejection and other people.
Are there any people you talk to on a regular basis? Any people you have partied with a few times? Ask them to help. What about your LS?
Don't be afraid to ask your friends for favors. That is what friends are for. You help them, they help you. And together you create a bond and help each other do better in life.
Are there any people you talk to on a regular basis? Any people you have partied with a few times? Ask them to help. What about your LS?
Don't be afraid to ask your friends for favors. That is what friends are for. You help them, they help you. And together you create a bond and help each other do better in life.
You have to break out of your shell.
That's all I can say.
That's all I can say.
just ask for help bro. there is someone out tehre sho will hear your cry for help. When i was level 45 i left my linkshell. I had no high level friends. and everyone on my friends list was lower level than me. I got all my limit breaks and AF's free with a lot of luck and alot of persistance.
But you have to be able to go that extra mile to get what you want. It took me about 2 months to get all my AF and that was mostly due to a lot of luck.
as GogetaExtreme said you gotta break out of your shell.
But you have to be able to go that extra mile to get what you want. It took me about 2 months to get all my AF and that was mostly due to a lot of luck.
as GogetaExtreme said you gotta break out of your shell.
I have quit...its to many 3rd party programs and unfairness...
Edited, Tue Mar 8 11:59:49 2005 by GreatKenshen
Edited, Tue Mar 8 11:59:49 2005 by GreatKenshen
Scholar
42 posts
I wish I could break out of this shell. :P Its likely an {Invincibl}e shell at this point, though. :P IRL, its pretty much the same, so I don't exactly have a model to go on ingame. 23 years old, asst mngr in a movie theatre, live with parents, no life, never had RL friends, not since like 4th grade. Not even girlfriends. Never drank alcohol, never smoked, never did any recreational drugs, etc, etc. :P I'me hopeless. :)
ok your 23, I say to you, go to the nearest Comvienence store and purchase a 5th of Maddog 20/20 ( because thats what everyone starts drinking on). Dont drink it too fast cause of low tolerance, maybe take a coule swigs an hour. After 4-5 hours of doing this, come back here and post the help you need and I will see what I can help you with. I have seen this work weith many shy individuals, once they start drinking, they forget what shyness is.
Hmmm sounds like the game really isn't the issue here, you sound depressed. All I can say is that whatever the basis of your social anxiety is it doesn't apply to FF11. Judging by your complaint about friends you are not innately a loner as some people are. Since you seem to have the desire for friendship in most likelihood your inability to interact is based off of a past fear of rejection. Speaking from personal experience I was the kid everyone decided to tease and pick on in school meaning I grew up rather friendless until high school. Much of the social anxiety and difficulty I have with interacting with people is due to it being drilled into me as a kid that interacting with people my own age usually resulted in emotional and physical pain to myself. If yours is based as mine was then in FF11 at least it doesn't matter as there are only a few ways you can look and odds are a lot of people look the same as you.
As for IRL all I can say is I owe most of the fact that I got over my own fear of people and self loathing due to a friendly person I meet randomly who kept inviting me to do stuff with her. Eventually through hanging out with her friends I started to realize that at 23 most people didn't care that I was a bit overweight they really only saw me as a person. You will still meet those people who do view people like that but usually if you stop and look at their lives they are often very pathetic people and will be for the rest of their days. This is mainly due to the fact that their sole source of self pride is to insult others maliciously which does not take people far beyond high school.
As for the 50-60 range I am in the middle right now, 55, and got tired of lfg as a MNK and decided to start raising RNG to 40 and level my WAR sub some. This gives me a little diversity and also a chance to see the level up sign.
As far as the asking for help goes if you are worried about then don't ask for help directly to a person. Shout it in Jueno or ask different linkshells.
Personally in FF11 I really suggest you find a linkshell with people on it and just start talking to people. Most of the boring times in this game I have I spend talking to people on linkshell. Ask them what they think of their job or if there are any quests they want to go on together.
IRL find a place where people hang out and go there and start talking to people, groups that are based off of discussions are the best (i.e. church groups, political activist groups, ect). I don't know how big of a city/town/community you live in but the larger it is the easier it is to find a group. If you don't fill like talking then just start showing up and after a while people will start talking to you.
Edit: Also as was suggested earlier you could post here asking for help too and usually include the lines for most the stuff "Is anyone else needing this". By posting here and helping to organize things for people you will make a lot of friends fast. (I got a tell from a random person the other day thanking me for organizing the LB2 event becouse a friend of his was able to complete it)
Edited, Tue Mar 8 13:27:13 2005 by Agawulf
As for IRL all I can say is I owe most of the fact that I got over my own fear of people and self loathing due to a friendly person I meet randomly who kept inviting me to do stuff with her. Eventually through hanging out with her friends I started to realize that at 23 most people didn't care that I was a bit overweight they really only saw me as a person. You will still meet those people who do view people like that but usually if you stop and look at their lives they are often very pathetic people and will be for the rest of their days. This is mainly due to the fact that their sole source of self pride is to insult others maliciously which does not take people far beyond high school.
As for the 50-60 range I am in the middle right now, 55, and got tired of lfg as a MNK and decided to start raising RNG to 40 and level my WAR sub some. This gives me a little diversity and also a chance to see the level up sign.
As far as the asking for help goes if you are worried about then don't ask for help directly to a person. Shout it in Jueno or ask different linkshells.
Personally in FF11 I really suggest you find a linkshell with people on it and just start talking to people. Most of the boring times in this game I have I spend talking to people on linkshell. Ask them what they think of their job or if there are any quests they want to go on together.
IRL find a place where people hang out and go there and start talking to people, groups that are based off of discussions are the best (i.e. church groups, political activist groups, ect). I don't know how big of a city/town/community you live in but the larger it is the easier it is to find a group. If you don't fill like talking then just start showing up and after a while people will start talking to you.
Edit: Also as was suggested earlier you could post here asking for help too and usually include the lines for most the stuff "Is anyone else needing this". By posting here and helping to organize things for people you will make a lot of friends fast. (I got a tell from a random person the other day thanking me for organizing the LB2 event becouse a friend of his was able to complete it)
Edited, Tue Mar 8 13:27:13 2005 by Agawulf
Dont be so sensitive.
There is a huge difference beetween being a leech, and asking for help when you need it, and being patient about getting it.
If you ask for help with every single thing, every single day, you might turn others off. But letting others in your LS know you need help, and asking them if you can schedule it is a great way to get things done.
If your LS is not helpful, you may consider a different LS. I am very close to your lvl, we can party together, and do some AF's ect together. Id be happy to lend a hand, and help find others to do the same.
Remeber this is a game, designed for enjoyment. Dont make it so complex, and ruin the fun.
There is a huge difference beetween being a leech, and asking for help when you need it, and being patient about getting it.
If you ask for help with every single thing, every single day, you might turn others off. But letting others in your LS know you need help, and asking them if you can schedule it is a great way to get things done.
If your LS is not helpful, you may consider a different LS. I am very close to your lvl, we can party together, and do some AF's ect together. Id be happy to lend a hand, and help find others to do the same.
Remeber this is a game, designed for enjoyment. Dont make it so complex, and ruin the fun.
Hey, NomadicDragon. I see this as a cry for help, in the game and RL. Its pretty brave of you to post that here. I commend you. I can be like that myself. That's why I do weird things to break outta my "shell". I randomly hump ppl and such. Not in RL though, well, sometimes. But if you need help, I'm Barchiel. I can try to help you bro. You sound like a really cool person. Leave me a message or give me a tell in game. What is your in game name/job/level? I'll try to help you in some way if I can. I've received help from ppl in the past, I know how it is. Don't be so proud; leech. Hehehe. JK, but accept the help or just ask. I look forward to hearing from you. And don't worry; the first hump is free. ^^
Well... yeah, the game does have its tough times sometimes. But I'm really sure you can make through this, Chin. Some people are busy, yeah, but I've got sooo much free time on my hands right now! Come back to DredLords, cuz I'm sure everyone does wanna help, they just have something to do at the moment. Sebastion had been waiting to get his AF leg piece for... iuno, a week? I was lfg with 3000 til I lvled, and saw him shouting in jeuno without getting any help. I decided to lower my flag and help him. It did take three hours to get that EVIL EVIL EVIL Castle Oztroja coffer key, yeah, but we managed to pull off TWO coffer keys! And a coffer too. XD But yeah, seriously. If you ever do need help, come back on DredLords and ask if anyone's free to help with whatever you need help with. People might be busy, but just ask if there's a time that we can make plans to help out. And I'm sure it'll be done! ^^
If you ever need me, gimme a /t ^^b
If you ever need me, gimme a /t ^^b
See NomadicDragon, WE LOVE YOU!! Don't leave us ^^
Scholar
42 posts
Linkshells really just are not a good idea for me, anymore. They're a very social situation, I'm really stunted socially, so its frustrating. Eventually, I lash out at frustrating things, and end up hurting people who don't deserve it. Its easier to not have a LS and not hurt people. I hate hurting people than anything else. Maybe thats why I became PLD, I'm used to taking all the pain and punishhment for another group's sake. :)
0.o We're willing to help, buut okay... If you're not gonna come back or get another linkshell, you might be stuck shouting in Jeuno for hours... and that's usually not as effective. XP But yeah, still..at least think of coming back. You don't have to talk or anything like that..
"Linkshells really just are not a good idea for me, anymore. They're a very social situation, I'm really stunted socially, so its frustrating."
Thats exactly what I'm saying its like in FF11 if you go lvl WAR but only use hand axe. So you get to lvl 25 and you start to want to use G. axe (plantbane on Mandies). Now your G. axe skill is so bad you miss all the time. The only way to stop it is to get out and use it. Otherwise it will continue to get farther and farther behind and you will continue to use this excuse and judgeing by the tone of your messages continue to be unhappy.
Edited, Tue Mar 8 14:36:23 2005 by Agawulf
Thats exactly what I'm saying its like in FF11 if you go lvl WAR but only use hand axe. So you get to lvl 25 and you start to want to use G. axe (plantbane on Mandies). Now your G. axe skill is so bad you miss all the time. The only way to stop it is to get out and use it. Otherwise it will continue to get farther and farther behind and you will continue to use this excuse and judgeing by the tone of your messages continue to be unhappy.
Edited, Tue Mar 8 14:36:23 2005 by Agawulf
You just need to learn to not care what people think so much, I am guessing most people who are quiet and shy, are that way cause they dont want to make anyone mad, but don't go through life worrying about petty things like that. Also if you want to be noticed, become a Ranger, everyone loves a Ranger, for example; Look at Barchiel, you know the only reason people talk to him is because he is a Ranger =P
Edited: Because Hooked on Phonics, didnt work for me.
Edited, Tue Mar 8 15:06:52 2005 by LionsFan
Edited: Because Hooked on Phonics, didnt work for me.
Edited, Tue Mar 8 15:06:52 2005 by LionsFan
Scholar
42 posts
Now that its been mentioned, just how DO ppl lvl underlvled skills? :P
And I have noticed that about rangers. I know someone ingame that hit 47 when I hit 50, then hit 60 when I hit 53.
I don't like making people mad, though its part of my RL job...sometimes you just have **** someone off to get them to do their job. Doing that in a game makes me feel like I'm at work. And I hate work. :)
And I have noticed that about rangers. I know someone ingame that hit 47 when I hit 50, then hit 60 when I hit 53.
I don't like making people mad, though its part of my RL job...sometimes you just have **** someone off to get them to do their job. Doing that in a game makes me feel like I'm at work. And I hate work. :)
I didn't know that about plantbane and using a GAX. Hmmm. And here I thought a GSD would be better. Thanks bro. I am just learning how to use a WAR.
Sorry to change the subject. Oh hey you're a PLD, what weapon do you use? Hmm. BTW what's the best weapon for a PLD?
Oh man, I mispelled hmmm, man am I stupid. Nevertheless matteroffactly, look at me, my LB1 isn't done and I am right there punchin away with my very unpopular WAR/WHM... and dagger. d'oh.
I know, but I just don't like to try new things.
Sorry to change the subject. Oh hey you're a PLD, what weapon do you use? Hmm. BTW what's the best weapon for a PLD?
Oh man, I mispelled hmmm, man am I stupid. Nevertheless matteroffactly, look at me, my LB1 isn't done and I am right there punchin away with my very unpopular WAR/WHM... and dagger. d'oh.
I know, but I just don't like to try new things.
Quote:
Thats exactly what I'm saying its like in FF11 if you go lvl WAR but only use hand axe. So you get to lvl 25 and you start to want to use G. axe (plantbane on Mandies). Now your G. axe skill is so bad you miss all the time. The only way to stop it is to get out and use it. Otherwise it will continue to get farther and farther behind and you will continue to use this excuse and judgeing by the tone of your messages continue to be unhappy.
That's a fabulous analogy. The way to make yourself happier is exactly that simple: just go out and do stuff. Trust me, I know from experience.
Take it from a fellow introvert... you'll be happier in the long run if you just bite the bullet and start socializing now. Taking the time to break out of my shell was the best thing I've ever done. Not only do I feel better about myself in game, but that translates over to RL too. My advice to you would be to stick with your linkshell and ask them for help. If you feel bad about it, just return the favor. You might be surprised at how many opportunities to pay them back you will find if you ask.
Quote:
I didn't know that about plantbane and using a GAX. Hmmm. And here I thought a GSD would be better. Thanks bro. I am just learning how to use a WAR.
Sorry to change the subject. Oh hey you're a PLD, what weapon do you use? Hmm. BTW what's the best weapon for a PLD?
Oh man, I mispelled hmmm, man am I stupid. Nevertheless matteroffactly, look at me, my LB1 isn't done and I am right there punchin away with my very unpopular WAR/WHM... and dagger. d'oh.
I know, but I just don't like to try new things.
Sorry to change the subject. Oh hey you're a PLD, what weapon do you use? Hmm. BTW what's the best weapon for a PLD?
Oh man, I mispelled hmmm, man am I stupid. Nevertheless matteroffactly, look at me, my LB1 isn't done and I am right there punchin away with my very unpopular WAR/WHM... and dagger. d'oh.
I know, but I just don't like to try new things.
Um did i miss something?
WTH are you talking about?
WAR/WHM OMG please dont seek.
My head hurts.
/em goes to find a thread without the words WAR/WHM in them.
*looks at Barchiel's post*
we do? i missed the memo ^_^
don't quit. take a vacation. come back later.
we do? i missed the memo ^_^
don't quit. take a vacation. come back later.
23 posts
WE got the perfect LS for ya there is only 5 of us but the ldr will help you anytime ya want. Thats pretty much all he does his name is killakang. Let me know if ya want in the LS, you seem interisting to me and we would love to you have you in our small LS. Let me know man
-Ainsley
-shiva
-Ainsley
-shiva
NomadicDragon, you just gotta get out and /poke ppl sometimes. You wanna build fame and and AWESOME reputation with ppl? Do what I do, HUMP PPL 24/7! I'm telling ya, it works. They will love you for it. That is one of the main reasons I get PTs, cuz of my legendary humping skills. Its always capped.
Besides that, don't be scared of ppl. Its a game, they can't hurt you. Cuz if they could, I'd be dead now. Go out and meet ppl. Trust me, you need to. In game and RL. You were born alone, which is true; but you CANNOT make it in life like that. You were conceived by two ppl (me and your mom, jk^^), which proves loneliness is not the way. I can be very antisocial myself, I like to be alone sometimes. But no one likes to be 'lonely'. Don't take the world so seriously. Life's a game; get the cheat codes and pwn.
RAWR!!!!!!!!!!
Besides that, don't be scared of ppl. Its a game, they can't hurt you. Cuz if they could, I'd be dead now. Go out and meet ppl. Trust me, you need to. In game and RL. You were born alone, which is true; but you CANNOT make it in life like that. You were conceived by two ppl (me and your mom, jk^^), which proves loneliness is not the way. I can be very antisocial myself, I like to be alone sometimes. But no one likes to be 'lonely'. Don't take the world so seriously. Life's a game; get the cheat codes and pwn.
RAWR!!!!!!!!!!
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