I dunno who knows me in Shiva or who doesnt. Ive been playing for about 10 months now. I was welcomed into an LS when i first got here RedRose. I met many good people i called friends. I got close to these people and spent all my time w/ them they were my family to me on Shiva. The Ls leader wasnt on for a long time and many problems started happening. My friends were leaving. I didnt want this to happen so i took it upon myself to create BlackRoseDynasty. My number one goal was to be able to provide a place for my friends and friends of there friends. Ive made endless sacrifices being Lder of BRD. I devoted myself to my friends helping them and being there for them in anyway i could. It was always 70-80 percent my shell/20-30 percent for me. I always wanted todo endgame during this time. To see what it was like to try and better myself. For me that was impossible i was dedicated to my shell to my members. Almost all endgame shells u need to be fulltime. Later within the months my members begin getting higher lvl and wanting the same thing. I didnt know much of anything about endgame stuff. I decided i wanted to be able to offer this to my members and myself, so that we could stay together and not move on to other shells. I did endless amounts of stuff offline as well as online. Studying, printing out maps, learning ways ingame, just the works. I was dealing w/ so much by myself already with leading BRD and now Endgame. Ive worked so hard and put everything i had into BRD and now... I feel alone. I feel that all that i have done people could care less about, they dont even understand the things ive gone through for the shell. People that should be there for each other arent. They had an incident w/ someone named Aryun recently who's got booted from BRD for acting and doing what she does. She goes around shouting lies and mocking me in Whitegate and Jeuno. I heard things from people about what she says and im so ashamed, and people just laugh at me. That all the things ive ever done. The dedication, the sacrifices, the burden, the pressure ive gone through for my members and others. I dont here of anyone standing up for me. It hurts me greatly and i dont feel i deserve this. People are cruel and treat others horribley. Only looking out for themselves. Im to the point now where is there a such thing called a Friend on Shiva, do people truely know what it means to be one. I'm sorry i just wanted to vent. I figured hey what the hey cant get hurt anymore than what i am now if this gets flamed or whatnot. Im just lost right now, in a million pieces, and expected so much more from people.
GoodNight Shiva
Demetriadacat