An Afternoon with Sylvanas

Back in January we had the rare opportunity to venture deep inside Orgrimmar to have a conversation with Thrall the Warchief. Our community responded with overwhelming praise and a desire to hear from the Banshee Queen, Sylvanas. Check out what she had to say about Thrall, Varimathras and her ongoing claim that she's the greatest archer in Azeroth.


ZAM: Hey Sylvanas!  So, how's it going in Undercity?

Sylvanas: Speak quickly; I don't have time to waste on idle chatter.  The Forsaken have become a force to be reckoned with, but there is still much to do in a given day.  This city doesn't run itself.  What do you want?

ZAM: Ummm.  Isn't that the same dialog you give anyone who runs up to you?  I was hoping for something a tad more creative.

Sylvanas: Sorry.  It's been so long since I've seen a player!

ZAM:
Oh, sorry about that.  Nobody comes to visit you anymore?

Sylvanas: No, after their level 75 quest to save the city they just forget about me.  *Sigh*

ZAM: Have you been in talks with Blizzard to play a more central role in the future storyline?

Sylvanas: Presumably I'll be in the content expansion with the raid on Arthas.  Given the current patch cycle, that should happen sometime after everybody has quit playing this game.  My fury knows no bounds!

ZAM:
Well, gee, I guess it must get pretty lonely around here in the meantime.  I don't suppose you've been talking to Thrall lately?  Word has it he's feeling lonely too!

Sylvanas:
Thrall?  What's that pigheaded Orc been saying about me!?

ZAM: Whoa, calm down.  Nothing!  Really... just that, you know, he misses talking to you, and stuff.

Sylvanas:
HA!  I bet.  Let him stew!

ZAM: Sylvanas, you're one cold banshee.  You don't have to be so lonely that you feed Varimathras bananas and make him dance for you.  Speaking of which, why is he naked, holding a banana and staring at us?

Sylvanas: What?  Who?  No Varimathras here!

ZAM: Um, he's right there... naked... with a banana.

Sylvanas:
I knew it; you never did your level 75 quest!  That's the only reason you're here to talk to me!

ZAM: Wait, what?  Ok, so maybe I didn't, but I assure you I had other reasons...

Sylvanas: No!  It's the only reason anybody EVER comes here anymore.  Some noob hasn't done their quest, or they get bored with their 1200 rated arena team and randomly hop around until they end up down here.  I knew you didn't care.

ZAM: OK FINE!  I admit it.  I haven't done your stupid quest.  What's that got to do with Varimathras anyway?

Sylvanas:
Look, Varimathras is supposed to be dead.  He's dead for EVERYBODY except you.  Get with the game!

ZAM: And yet there he stands.  Interesting gameplay mechanics.

Sylvanas: Hey, don't complain to me.  Are you going to accept this quest or not?  It's actually quite fun!

ZAM:
Maybe after we're done.  You once claimed that you were such a great archer that you could hit a flying bird in the eye.  That's definitely something I'd like to see firsthand, can you give me a demonstration?

Sylvanas: It pleases me greatly to have you mention that.  See that bird over there?

ZAM: Nope…

Sylvanas: Of course you don't.  Watch this …. *Ssssswwwwoooosshhh*

ZAM: You just shot an Abomination, and it would seem you hit him in the junk.

Sylvanas:
Exactly!  I hit him in his bird's eye.  I believe you humans call it a coc…

ZAM: STOP!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!

Sylvanas: Had enough?  Good!  It is always pleasing to prove that I'm best archer in Azeroth.

ZAM: Yeah, I think I'm done here.  Can you give me that quest so I can be on my way?

Sylvanas:
Speak quickly; I don't have time to waste on idle chatter.  The Forsaken have become a force to be reckoned with, but there is still much to do in a given day.  This city doesn't run itself.  What do you want?

ZAM: Yep. Hard to believe no one comes down here to see you anymore...

 

The interview you've just read contains a fictional look at Lady Sylvanas and is meant for the sole purpose of entertainment. Moreover, the fictional depiction of Sylvanas was created by the author and not necessarily the views of ZAM.com or Blizzard Entertainment.

Andrew "Tamat" Beegle
Editor-in-Chief
ZAM.com

Comments

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funny
# Apr 07 2009 at 11:32 AM Rating: Decent
*****
12,846 posts
kind of reminds me of
http://blackravens.net/2009/03/25/8-spider-pride
funny
# Apr 07 2009 at 12:20 PM Rating: Default
LOL Niobia....


TYVM for linking "Spider-Pride" That made my WEEK! So Funny. It's a shame it didn't make the word-count for the fan-fic contest...I know I for one would have voted for it.


Thanks again!
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Edited, Apr 7th 2009 6:00pm by PrometheusUnbound
Bird is the word....
# Apr 07 2009 at 10:31 AM Rating: Default
"Coc-katiel"? (>-^)
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