This was sent to me today from over at Warcry...

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Ahh, love. No emotion has created such a stir in all of history as that four-letter word. People live for it, and people die for it. It propels epics like no other force, from Ulysses and Penelope to the fateful triangle of Arthur, Guinevere and Lancelot. We have dedicated a holiday to this most confusing feeling, despite all its fickle qualities and occasional slings and arrows. As a species, we’ve all fallen head over heels for love. This may explain why our own personal epics often include romance and marriage. Even those of us who have already married in our real lives feel a little rush of excitement, a blush of feeling as our characters court and coo. How can we escape the heady feelings of a first crush, or the trembling excitement as we are presented with a ring? And let’s be truthful…how many of us put at least as much effort into planning our in-game weddings as we did our out-of-game ones? I recently watched my own character garner a crush, fall in love, and on Sunday, get married in a lovely ceremony that frankly, I would have been proud to have had as my ceremony in real life. I watched her as she nervously introduced herself, wanting to get to know him better. I gnawed nervously at my lower lip as, in Lyonesse, she gave him her lady’s favor. My breath caught in my chest as she confessed, in the Dales of Devwy, that she loved him. And as he rubbed nervously at the back of his neck, mustering the courage to ask for her hand in marriage, my hands trembled as I typed her response. Why do we so connect our characters to others? For some, it seems that out-of-game marriages translate into in-game ones. Those who are lucky enough to have mates that understand their gaming fetish often bring that relationship into the game, making their characters as tightly bound as the players are. The couple that games together stays together. Others engage in in-game relationships because it gives them someone to roleplay with and talk to. Our virtual mates give us company and companionship, as well as interaction on a level that we cannot find anywhere else. We can always trust our mate to come running when we need them, even if we are only roleplaying the trouble we are in. My own gaming experience is always all the better for an in-game relationship. I’m always happier to have someone to play off of. We keep each other company while crafting, we spice up our hunting trips with good roleplay. And I cannot help but think that in him, I’ve made a good friend, even outside the game. Unfortunately, in-game relationships are not all hearts and roses. Some people use them to prey on others, or to wheedle money and goods for free before disappearing. Others, having no love life of their own outside the game, use it to meet and fixate on people. How many real hearts have been broken over such things? We have to be careful with our virtual loves. I cannot count how many of my in-character relationships in various games ended for out-of-character reasons. People whose characters meshed perfectly turned out to be intolerable behind the scenes, or their play style simply did not mesh with mine. This is the real difficulty of such things: how do you explain an out-of-character break in-character? You end up with an often lame storyline and a bitter aftertaste. We have to choose our in-game mates carefully. I, sadly enough, have a little list that I follow. Sometimes, the turkeys sneak in despite it, but I do cut down on the flotsam this way. Play times. Does your play time match that of your potential mate? Or were they just off work for that weekend where your characters went head over heels? It’s important that the two of you will see each other regularly, even if only to chat in sends while you hunt in different areas. Roleplay styles. Do you like your roleplay light and fun? Or deep and meaningful? You need to make certain that your mate feels the same way you do. If you enjoy only the lightest of stories, you may find yourself frustrated with your mate’s tendency to come up with epic plots, or vice versa. Raid brigade. Do you hate hunting? Hate raiding? Or are you right there every time someone says the words “Caer Sidi”? If there’s a single Hibernian on your Frontier, are you right there in case there are more? Make sure that you and your mate agree on these kinds of things, or resign yourself to talking in sends while you sit in Caer Diogel crafting and she’s out defending the Frontier. Pot of gold. Are you all for the concept of community property? Or do you hoard your gold, even from your mates? Know your limits for the Bank of Wife. Your mate may have plans for her cash that don’t include giving it to you. On the other hand, she might happily pay for that masterpiece arcanite saber…so long as you are willing to do the same for her, someday. Velcro syndrome. Do you expect to be with your mate every moment you two are online together? You need to make sure he feels the same way before you get involved with him. He may expect (and has the right to) some degree of autonomy. Make sure the two of you are on the same page on expectations of time spent together. Syntax error. All right. This one’s petty and lame, but I can’t help it. I refuse to attach my character to anyone who hasn’t at least partially mastered the English language. I don’t mind it if your spelling is imperfect, or your grammar has a flaw or three, but I have to be able to understand you. And if you think the word “you” does not require the first two letters, or that the word “please” is spelled “plz”, don’t even try it. Real life. Are you married? Have real life obligations? Your mate should at least have a basic idea about these. A doctor on call may need to disappear at any time, and it would be unfair not to explain this to someone you roleplay with constantly. At the same time, we are all aware that some people use games like Dark Age of Camelot as dating services. Broken hearts are easily avoided. Make sure that you both know what your real life limits are. Pillow talk. Mmm, how to gloss this one over tastefully? Some people enjoy erotic activity online. Others think it’s disgusting. Know how your roleplaying partner feels before you embarrass yourself and him to boot. And for pity’s sake, remember kids play this game, too. Be sure of your partner’s real age. On Sunday, on a hill overlooking Ludlow, a tiny Briton Cleric and a massive Highlander Paladin exchanged vows. Ironically, my own real-life husband gave my character away in the wedding. The sun shone down on a perfect Albion day, and for a moment, I did not sit in my ratty computer chair at my cluttered desk. I stood on the green English countryside, staring up into the face of a Highland man as the presiding Cleric spoke the vows. Together, the pair had already had many adventures, and I knew that the wedding only signaled more fun to come. I grinned like an idiot. I couldn’t help it. The greatest of these, after all, is love.

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Hee hee -Kenti